Lounge lizard reclines

Jacob Rees-Mogg to become the face of lounge furniture

A bespoke armchair and chaise-longue manufacturer have chosen Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg to be the brand ambassador and new face of their company: PomPosity.

Mr Rees-Mogg shall appear in a series of televisual adverts for the company, and will ‘pose in a variety of positions’, showing off the range of products PomPosity have to offer.

Pardon

Scientists discover that as ears get bigger hearing gets worse

A group of British scientists have published a paper claiming that the larger a human’s ears are, the lower quality of hearing they will have.

The study follows a continuous complaint (since the dawning of time) from older acquirers of ears who, ‘don’t know what you’re saying’. This often results in the exclamation, ‘speak up’, being heard – depending, of course, on the age of the verbal recipient.