Fans of ITV’s hit show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, groaned aloud collectively when this week’s million pound prize winner, Donald Fear, announced that he had celebrated his win with a caravanning holiday.
A caravan holiday? How dull is this man? Asks Jeremy C
Champagne corks are popping in The City again as Brexit disaster looms larger and the pound plummets.
For I am a very fat cat indeed, said Mr CreosoteIt’s been a difficult year. I know chaps who have struggled to make £20 million, and even then, they’ve had to resort to shorting businesses which were on the brink of collapse because of the lockdown. But every cloud, and all that…”
Crispin Odious, Very Fat Cat
Final and clinching proof that you can’t please all of the people all of the time has been found today in the shape of 18 year old Harry Finn.
Finn, an A Level student, told us,
Oh no, my life is over….My parents were high achievers. They both went to uni. All of my life, there’s been tremendous parental pressure for me to go to somewhere like the LSE, even though I didn’t want to go. Thanks to the Government, all I got was a B and two Cs and the LSE rejected me. I can’t tell you how relieved I was. Now this. All of a sudden, it’s A Stars all the way to London. I’m traumatised. Thanks, Gavin, mate.
Sulky, whiny LSE student
A football-style transfer market has been suggested for politicians, some of whom are looking nervously over their shoulders.
The well-known cock-up artist and habitual liar, Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of Great Britain, leads the free transfer market, as no other country, not even America, is willing to take him off Britain’s hands.
Do i hear £20 and lick of my lolly for Boris?
Lawyers acting on behalf of the new born son of Carrie Symonds are demanding a paternity test in the hope it can be proven that Boris Johnson is not the father.
