Author: Wild Gerald

Gerald has been running around the country, flinging poo, for many years. He is no longer wild, merely slightly annoyed.

As the toilet paper shortage begins to bite, Greta Thunberg urges people to recycle

With the country starting to run out of toilet paper, Swedish wunderkind Greta Thunberg is urging people to recycle used paper.

Your arsewiping is destroying my future!

“You are destroying the planet with your arsewiping” she claimed.

You’re destroying my future with your arsewiping

Jeremy Clarkson comes out as a Caravaneer

The latest celebrity to join the ‘coming out’ trend is Jeremy Clarkson, who stunned some people when he took to breakfast TV to publicly admitted his love of caravans.

In his statement, he revealed his life long passion for all things caravany. “It has always been an obsession of mine. When I was a kid I fell in love with the damn things, the way they swayed in a light breeze, let in the rain on a sunny day and held up all the traffic on the A303. Bliss!”

“It’s their beauty, elegance and complete uselessness that does it for” says JC

Prince William calls for more diversity, just not in his own family

Prince William calls for the working class to be more diverse by ensuring that entertainment industry awards reflect wider society. Without any hint of irony, the Prince castigated the audience for holding an award ceremony to reward rich white folks with limited talent.

Celebrating Diversity!
You’ve got to let in more of them!