Civil War follows arrival of US Peacekeepers in Paradise

The United States, in search of an understandable foreign policy has sent peacekeeping troops into one of the World’s quietest and most stable countries.

The once peaceful Paradise has enjoyed a long history of mutually beneficial coexistence between people from differing ethnic and religious backgrounds. Largely untouched by Western Nations for the last hundred years it has been allowed to go on, untroubled, about its business.

Brexshite

Scientists have discovered a new mineral called Brexshite

Previously considered to only be a theoretical possibility, researchers were delighted to have found examples of a new naturally occurring mineral, Brexshite.

Large clusters of the new mineral were found in several areas of the country. The likelihood of naturally occurring Brexshite was previously dismissed on the basis that even if it did exist it would be in such small quantities that no-one need worry about it. Mr Cameron’s experiments to prove that there were no meaningful naturally occurring supplies of Brexshite were ill-founded.

Once again A Level results are the best ever

For the fortieth year running, education chiefs have announced that A Level and GCSE exam pass rates have increased yet again.

The A Level pass rate is now up to 94.5689% and the GCSE pass rate sits at 92.456128%.

The annual increase in exam pass rates has become a cause for some controversy as older people fail to understand that every year the intelligence of pupils and ability of teachers increases.

GammonTV

BBC and ITV launch a new monthly streaming service – GammonTV

To cash in on the global media streaming boom, BBC and ITV have joined forces to create a uniquely British offering. Called Britbox but immediately nicknamed ‘GammonTV’, it will showcase Britain’s golden age.

Ian Napton “We know we’re never going to be as big as Netflix and Amazon and we can’t compete with their innovative and original, world-wide, programming but we’re happy with that. Not everyone wants to see new and exciting things. No! they’d much rather have something old and boring that they’ve seen a hundred times before. We believe people will pay £5.99 a month, on top of the £154.50 a year TV licence, to watch this stuff.”