Author: Id

Id, is a bit of a wild one

Quarantined footballer discovers a book

During the Corona Virus lockdown, many people have become bored watching TV, Netflix and endless YouTube videos. By happenchance, Manchester United’s star striker, Ian Napton, has discovered a book.

The incident occurred when his Chiropodist came around to pamper his tootsies. As she set up her oils and unguents, she took the book from her bag and placed it to one side.

But what happens next?

Cupid issues a public apology to Carrie Symonds

“Carrie, I’d like to say how sorry I am. It shouldn’t have turned out like this.” said Cupid, before going on to explain.

“I saw Carrie sitting in her flat with a bottle of Lambrini and a cat. I thought “this won’t do”. You can’t have a beautiful, rich, white girl sitting at home, bemoaning her lot in life, she is one of the chosen. So I tried to fix things.

Boris was not the blonde haired, blue eyed hunk I was looking for

In the face of a national crisis, Boris rekindles the Blitz Spirit

“Believe in Britain, and stop all this doom-mongering,” says Boris. Adding, “If a few old people have to die in the national interest, then, keep a stiff upper lip, carry on and don’t let Johnnie Foreigner see you blub.

One paper has issued a helpful guide, designed to rekindle memories of life in the 1940s.

Remember you’re British!