Author Archives

identicon

Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.

Details of the latest series of Tits and Dragons announced

After an almost unbearable wait, details, teasers and some gratuitous nudity from the final season of Game of Thrones, have been released.

Apparently, the latest series of GoT will feature some big men fighting with swords for no other reason than they make a nice clanging noise and easily fill five minutes of screen time.  Continue reading “Details of the latest series of Tits and Dragons announced”

La Republique declares a state of emergency after stereotypical Frenchman admits he cannot satisfy women

France was thrown into an identity crises, when one of their stereotypical celebrities admitted he was unable to satisfy women. He admitted to finding sexy, confident, intelligent and beautiful women to be too intimidating.

Quelle surprise! Tell us something we don’t know.” admitted Frenchwomen everywhere. Continue reading “La Republique declares a state of emergency after stereotypical Frenchman admits he cannot satisfy women”

Southern Rail to introduce External Class rail travel in a bid to reduce train over crowding

As Southern Rail’s beleaguered customers quietly fume at yet another fare increase in return for ever poorer service, the company’s ‘Managers’ have come up with a cunning plan. 

Following a recent trip to India, Senior Manager Ian Napton was impressed with the effectiveness of Indian Rail’s external seating class. It effectively doubled the capacity of each train, at no extra cost to the company.  Continue reading “Southern Rail to introduce External Class rail travel in a bid to reduce train over crowding”

Maths genius discovers a new number when trying to work out how much money he spent at Xmas

Professor of Advanced Mathematics at Oxford University, Sir Ian Napton, believes he  has discovered a completely new number.

Sir Ian’s deep fascination for all things numerical includes his financial details. He recorded his account balances, monies spent and the amount remaining. Although the initial balance and spending figures were correct, the final balance never matched the money on account. Continue reading “Maths genius discovers a new number when trying to work out how much money he spent at Xmas”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd