North Korea went to the polls to elect a new leader. In a surprise result, the people elected the only candidate, Kim Jong-Un, as Supreme Leader.
His win was emphatic, with Kim receiving 200% of the popular vote, a new record. Continue reading “North Korea elects only voter as Supreme Leader in democratic elections”
A bunch of American lawyers looking for the next cash cow, found a study linking the use of talcum powder to an increased risk of cancer. This has resulted in several class action lawsuits, in the states, as cocaine users sue their dealers.
Meanwhile, British cocaine dealers have become paranoid and gone into a highly agitated tailspin, after it transpired that they may, also, face liability for failing to disclose cancer risks. This means customers were unable to make an informed choice.
Continue reading “Cocaine users sue dealers after scientists find talc has a cancer risk”
It’s believed the Russian President, Mr Vladimir Putin, is regretting signing a deliver and supply contract with BT Broadband, for the Internet.
Problems began when the Internet started playing up and stopped showing him; funny videos about cute animals, movies starring big muscly oiled men in tight jeans fixing household appliances or pictures of food and drink. He was also unable to log into his favourite influencer’s account; Sophie from Milton Keynes was doing a special on how to blag luxury hotel rooms by offering free blow jobs. Continue reading “BT Broadband Helpline tells Mr Putin to unplug the internet and plug it back in again to see if that fixes it”
Jonah Napton has the unenviable record of being Britain’s most redundant man. In what some are calling “an unbelievable run of bad luck”, Jonah has been let go 7 times. The latest on the last in first out principal.
“The first time it happens, you kind of accept it as ‘just one of those things’, the second time feels a bit unfair but when it keeps on happening you start to think, ‘Is it me?” said Jonah. Continue reading “Meet Jonah Napton, Britain’s most redundant man. He’s been let go seven times”
In a surprise announcement, Seaborne Freight has won the award for Outstanding Ferry Company of the Year at this years Cargo Freight Awards.
Director of the Awards Committee, Ian Napton, explained, “There was only one contender. Seaborne were the most punctual and reliable, they never missed a sailing. Additionally they secured a £14 million government contract and the ringing endorsement of a Senior Cabinet Minister. Our customer satisfaction survey showed they were the only company to get no complaints, which is an outstanding achievement. It’s important to acknowledge the valuable work they have done in raising the profile of the cargo freight industry and we are delighted to recognise the work of this outstanding British company.” Continue reading “Seaborne Freight wins the award for The Most Outstanding Ferry Company of The Year”
Britain sadly lost one of it’s most passionate and vocal advocates for Victorian Values and Women’s Rights.
Few have gone further in protecting the legacy of women as property, than Sir Christopher Chode MP. A political titan, described as a man for whom the 20th Century never happened, a resolute upholder of tradition and defender of outdated modes of thought. Continue reading “RIP Sir Christopher Chode* MP a stalwart fighter for traditional Victorian values”