Ina radical re-modernisation the upcoming Tory Leadership Contest is to be decided by cage fighting with the winner becoming the ‘Ultimate Fu**ing C**t’.
Standard UFC Rules apply; no hair-pulling, scratching, name calling, although back-stabbing is mandatory. The winner is the last FC standing. Continue reading “Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC”
House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
Dear Sir Graham,
It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself. Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I regret that it is necessary for me to publicly apologise for my behaviour.
It is with great sadness, I find, that once again it has been discovered that I have been a naughty boy.
On this occasion I would like to offer a full, an insincere apology, to my wife/my constituents/ the British People/The House of Commoners/ my wife again/my employer/my friends/my friends husbands/the wife’s friends husbands and finally my wife. Continue reading “That Boris Johnson apology, to Parliament, in full”
After a North London school thought it would be nice idea to have a parade that celebrated everyone, by allowing the children to get up and say what makes them proud of themselves, their family and their friends some Christians decided to get offended on God’s behalf.
Once again Christians decided to share their joy, happiness and the teachings of Christ by pissing on everyone else’s fun. Continue reading “Christian parents can’t resist pissing on everyone else’s parade”
In a remarkable show of bloody-mindedness Theresa May held a press conference confirming her deal was the only deal, there’s no other deal and if everyone didn’t vote for her and let her be PM any more she’d have no choice but to carry on.
In collaboration with Lord Greystoke, she’s produced details of her Post-Brexit vision. Continue reading “Theresa May’s Guide to a Post-Brexit Britain”
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Today all England grieves for the loss of this fearless Brexiteer, ruthless money maker and top insurance policy seller five years running. Proving if you want something bad enough there’s nothing you won’t do to get there. Continue reading “RIP Arron Banksit fearless Brexiteer, interesting business man and top insurance seller”