Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I regret that it is necessary for me to publicly apologise for my behaviour.
It is with great sadness, I find, that once again it has been discovered that I have been a naughty boy.
On this occasion I would like to offer a full, an insincere apology, to my wife/my constituents/ the British People/The House of Commoners/ my wife again/my employer/my friends/my friends husbands/the wife’s friends husbands and finally my wife. Continue reading “That Boris Johnson apology, to Parliament, in full”
After a North London school thought it would be nice idea to have a parade that celebrated everyone, by allowing the children to get up and say what makes them proud of themselves, their family and their friends some Christians decided to get offended on God’s behalf.
Once again Christians decided to share their joy, happiness and the teachings of Christ by pissing on everyone else’s fun. Continue reading “Christian parents can’t resist pissing on everyone else’s parade”
In a remarkable show of bloody-mindedness Theresa May held a press conference confirming her deal was the only deal, there’s no other deal and if everyone didn’t vote for her and let her be PM any more she’d have no choice but to carry on.
In collaboration with Lord Greystoke, she’s produced details of her Post-Brexit vision. Continue reading “Theresa May’s Guide to a Post-Brexit Britain”
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Today all England grieves for the loss of this fearless Brexiteer, ruthless money maker and top insurance policy seller five years running. Proving if you want something bad enough there’s nothing you won’t do to get there. Continue reading “RIP Arron Banksit fearless Brexiteer, interesting business man and top insurance seller”
Arayan Air have found themselves in another race row after their works do, held in Newtownards, was mistaken for a KKK Rally.
Barry Gammon, spokesman for Aryan Air, said, “It wasn’t our fault, again. We planned a works night out with a fancy dress theme and a pub crawl. As it was Halloween, and everyone would be in grotesque costumes, we decided to go as spooky ghosts. For some reason everyone thought we were in KKK costumes. ” Continue reading “Aryan Air’s works do would have been fine if it hadn’t been for those pesky kids”
On Tuesday we sensationally revealed the dramatic appointment of Tommy Robinson to the Board of Aryan Air. However, in the fast moving world of international business he has been sensationally dismissed, to be replaced by local bad boy Sir Phillip Green. Continue reading “All change at Aryan Air as Tommy is, ironically, booted out of his seat to make way for Sir Phillip Green”