In answer to the question: What do you get the man who has everything? the answer is the county of Hampshire.
As his family sat around the dinner table, wondering what to get the Pater Familias for this Yuletide season, one of the younger members suggested giving him a county.
Continue reading “Jacob Rees-Mogg gets Hampshire for Xmas”
Professor of Advanced Mathematics at Oxford University, Sir Ian Napton, believes he has discovered a completely new number.
Sir Ian’s deep fascination for all things numerical includes his financial details. He recorded his account balances, monies spent and the amount remaining. Although the initial balance and spending figures were correct, the final balance never matched the money on account.
Continue reading “Maths genius discovers a new number when trying to work out how much money he spent at Xmas”
Ina radical re-modernisation the upcoming Tory Leadership Contest is to be decided by cage fighting with the winner becoming the ‘
Ultimate Fu**ing C**t’.
Standard UFC Rules apply; no hair-pulling, scratching, name calling, although back-stabbing is mandatory. The winner is the last
FC standing. Continue reading “Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC”
House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
Dear Sir Graham,
It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself.
Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”
Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I regret that it is necessary for me to publicly apologise for my behaviour.
It is with great sadness, I find, that once again it has been discovered that I have been a naughty boy.
On this occasion I would like to offer a full, an insincere apology, to
my wife/my constituents/ the British People/The House of Commoners/ my wife again/my employer/my friends/my friends husbands/the wife’s friends husbands and finally my wife. Continue reading “That Boris Johnson apology, to Parliament, in full”
After a North London school thought it would be nice idea to have a parade that celebrated everyone, by allowing the children to get up and say what makes them proud of themselves, their family and their friends some Christians decided to get offended on God’s behalf.
Once again Christians decided to share their joy, happiness and the teachings of Christ by pissing on everyone else’s fun.
Continue reading “Christian parents can’t resist pissing on everyone else’s parade”