Author Archives

identicon

Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.

RIP – Dr Flying Focks, the man who sent Theresa May to conga round The Congo

Sadly, Britain’s lost one of our most anonymous, and least effective, front-line politicians, Dr Flying Focks.

Dr Focks graduated from the University of Glasgow, a feat in itself. After qualifying as a GP, he felt better suited to a career in politics, rather than one where he actually helped people. Continue reading “RIP – Dr Flying Focks, the man who sent Theresa May to conga round The Congo”

Catholic Church’s secret plan to Exorcise Donald Trump

The Catholic Church have incontrovertible proof that Donald Trump has been demonically possessed by  the spirit of Malthus, an ancient chaos demon cast out by God to corrupt souls and wreak havoc.

Vatican investigators identified possession when Donald Trump significantly failed to grasp reality and tried to bend the world to his own understanding, spoke in tongues and displayed an insatiable and depraved lust, this combined with the impending nuclear Armageddon confirmed his demonic possession. Continue reading “Catholic Church’s secret plan to Exorcise Donald Trump”

Pensioners pump out prescription pills to kids

The Government’s austerity measures mean cash strapped pensioners have turned to drug dealing to supplement their dwindling incomes and to allow them to buy essentials, such as; scones, cake, liniment and Werther’s Originals.

In increasing numbers, The Grey Mafia (AKA The Grafia or The Cosy Nostrum) have moved into the illegal drugs market. Ironically, showing the entrepreneurial spirit,  of which the Conservatives, are so proud. Continue reading “Pensioners pump out prescription pills to kids”

British Company wins contract to supply wood, hammer and nails for Saudi Arabian Crucifixions

The Department for Trade and Industry have announced a potentially lucrative, post-brexit, trade deal with Saudi Arabia. DTI officials triumphantly announced the multi-pound deal will open up the lucrative Saudi Arabian weapons and torture market to British companies.

Continue reading “British Company wins contract to supply wood, hammer and nails for Saudi Arabian Crucifixions”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd