Author: Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

Highgate Head claims being a ‘Shakra and Vibration Guru’ doesn’t qualify you as a key worker

A Highgate school has ‘vehemently rejected’, an angry parent’s plea, to allow her child to continue schooling as normal.

Back to school
Back to school you little git

Self-proclaimed ‘shakra and vibration guru’, Olivia Napton, claims that as ‘an energy shaman’, she should be considered a ‘key-worker’, therefore allowing her daughter Brabantia-Dragonflower, uninterrupted education.

What do you mean I am not providing an essential service!

Accidental community hero honoured by his neighbours

A community is honouring an accidental hero, for his valiant efforts, to support his neighbours during social distancing.

With his heralded golf club closed for the foreseeable, Ian Napton like many, was faced with a daunting void in his social calendar. With this in mind, his quick thinking wife Gillian suggested, that they ‘embark on studying and practising daily tantric sex.

Its shut, what do i do now?
It was nothing, what else are you going to do whilst the golf club is closed?

‘For God’s sake buy her Valentine’s Day flowers’ warns regretful idiot

Self proclaimed modern man, Ian Napton has been left in a state of shock, after his genius idea ‘to swerve Valentine’s Day’, hugely backfired.

Napton announced his intention to abstain from the ‘commercial venture, allegedly ‘to avoid belittling’ his wife Gillian, with a show of ‘demeaning patriarchal tradition.’

Of course I love you darling, it’s just I can’t be bothered to get you anything