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Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

For Sale; Britain, one careful lady owner and a sh*t one

For Sale, one careless lady owner

Great Britain has been bought on eBay for £10.50, by a Mr D Trump of Orange County, Florider.

The Advert read; For Sale; One country, slightly soiled, leans a bit to the right, dodgy runner. Feels a bit unloved and uncared for. She was an absolute stunner in her day. One careful lady owner for the last 65 years and a shit one for three. Nice retirement project for a handy pensioner who can fix things. Buyer collects. Continue reading “For Sale; Britain, one careful lady owner and a sh*t one”

Margaret Thatcher to be resurrected on Easter Sunday

Margaret Thatcher Funeral procession

Church of England officials are horrified at the Conservatives latest parliamentary bill; proposing to bring Easter forward, in a bid to resurrect Margaret Thatcher.

With hope fading fast for a satisfactory end to the Brexit shit-shamble, this radical plan seems the only option. The exhumation of the Iron Lady seems the only way to rekindle the belief of the Tory Faithful.
Continue reading “Margaret Thatcher to be resurrected on Easter Sunday”

Builders Merchants stunned when a woman knows exactly what she wants

Woman in a builders merchants

Staff at a well known South London, Builders Merchants  were left dumbfounded yesterday. A woman entered the branch and knew exactly what she needed to buy.

Staff initially felt uncomfortable at the unusual turn of events. Her presence, immediately, doubled the IQ in the building and she appeared resistant to their ‘friendly banter.’ Continue reading “Builders Merchants stunned when a woman knows exactly what she wants”

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