Negotiators have been drafted in, following a child’s heartfelt appeal to divorce her parents.
In an extraordinary turn of events, Brabantia-Dragonflower Napton felt compelled to initiate proceedings, when her parents refused to allow her to eat a ham sandwich, at the school picnic. Continue reading “Brabantia-Dragonflower to divorce her parents following ham sandwich row”
An investigation is underway, following an incident of mistaken diagnosis, when a woman was incorrectly treated for a severe allergic reaction.
After undergoing cosmetic surgery on her lips, Gillian Napton found herself being unwittingly bundled into the back of an ambulance, while a potentially life saving injection was administered. Continue reading “Trout pout woman wrongly treated for anaphylactic shock”
A West London teenager is suffering from mild shock, after discovering that her Grandmother had posted a photo of her on social media, without any filters.
Traumatised, Sienna Napton informed us she felt ‘humiliated and violated’, upon the ‘horrendous realisation’, that she had been tagged in a family portrait on Facebook. Continue reading “Teenage trauma as Granny posts unfiltered photos on Social Media”
A Highgate headteacher is under fire, for ‘adopting a hard, conventionalist line’, following his decision to ‘label’ a six-year-old pupil, as ‘not expected to reach the minimum standard’, in her year two SATs.
With media controversy already raging over the statutory tests, Mr Targett is alleged to have ‘demoralised a misunderstood and artistic soul.’ Continue reading “Hipperatti couple are disappointed that Brabantia’s unique talents weren’t recognised in her SATs”
A bag of soft shite has chanced his arm in the Conservative leadership contest. With speculation mounting as to who will fill Theresa May’s shoes, Mr Excrement has boldly stepped forward with his fruitful vision for the future. Continue reading “Bag of shite enters the Tory leadership contest”
A controversial decision, relating to a school summer sports day, has vexed an enlightened vegan couple.
Having successfully won their campaign to ban competitive children’s events, Olivia and Leaf Napton were outraged to discover the annual non-gendered Ovoid and Spoon race had been cancelled too. Continue reading “Woke parents disappointed following cancellation of the non-gendered carers Ovoid and Spoon race at non-competitive sports day”