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Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

Modern Mum, Gillian Napton reviews the year to date “New year- new me…scrap that- same shit, different day!”

Modern women everywhere are in a permanent state of confusion, suffering the January blues, whilst wondering which unrealistic New Year’s resolution to plumb for.

With mixed media messages thrown at them daily, many are weighing up whether to embrace themselves, join the gym, chime gongs in a Himalayan retreat or sack it all off and binge watch Luther, with a massive bar of Galaxy. Continue reading “Modern Mum, Gillian Napton reviews the year to date “New year- new me…scrap that- same shit, different day!””

For Auld Lang’s Syne, one more beer won’t hurt

Widespread confusion is engulfing the country, in the aftermath of Christmas, as people struggle to come to terms with reality. Millions have been spotted wandering the streets aimlessly, glassy-eyed, with slightly jaundiced complexions.

Alarming issues, such as not knowing the day of the week and having empty food cupboards, save for a discarded Christmas cake and stale undercooked turkey, have thrown the nation off balance. The most puzzling question is; Can we crack out the alcohol at nine in the morning? Continue reading “For Auld Lang’s Syne, one more beer won’t hurt”

Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas

NHS 111 was on red alert last night, after experiencing high call volumes, from teenagers suffering with mysterious ailments.

Ageing relatives insisting on WiFi lockdown, to play ‘good old fashioned’ festive games, is thought to have created panic and shock like symptoms amongst the youth. Continue reading “Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas”

Drunk, middle-aged man loses his dignity at the office Xmas party

Uproar was caused at the A.N.Y office party, following an alleged assault to a middle aged man’s dignity.

Events unfolded following the onslaught of a free bar and insubstantial canapes. Whilst Chumbawamba was in full swing on the dancefloor, Robin from accounts, dressed as Santa, offered to show Anna from H.R his grinding. Alarmingly, she retorted ‘Get lost Grandpa!’, causing widespread guffawing and a distinctive dent to his ego. Continue reading “Drunk, middle-aged man loses his dignity at the office Xmas party”

Hark the herald angels sing, his bloody Auntie’s nicked my gin

A large crash resounded across the UK today, as thousands of mothers’ hopes of a relaxing Christmas were simultaneously shattered.

While circumnavigating the treacheries of festive shopping, coupled with being a working parent, it suddenly dawned on them, that Christmas was in fact a steaming pile of shit.

Continue reading “Hark the herald angels sing, his bloody Auntie’s nicked my gin”

Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto

Pantomime season was in full swing at The Palace of  Westminster Theatre as the audience cried out “Nobodies behind you”.

With multiple players vying for election to the role of Unprincipled Boy in the Brexit shit-show, Mother’s Goosed, May gave her best dramatic performance yet. Continue reading “Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto”

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