Great Britain has been bought on eBay for £10.50, by a Mr D Trump of Orange County, Florider.
The Advert read; For Sale; One country, slightly soiled, leans a bit to the right, dodgy runner. Feels a bit unloved and uncared for. She was an absolute stunner in her day. One careful lady owner for the last 65 years and a shit one for three. Nice retirement project for a handy pensioner who can fix things. Buyer collects. Continue reading “For Sale; Britain, one careful lady owner and a sh*t one”
Blue Peter have launched their biggest appeal yet, to save the endangered species, Great Britain.
So extreme is the crisis, that the sticky-backed plastic entrepreneurs, have offered not only a Gold Blue Peter badge as a prize but unrestricted access to the House of Commons and a lifetime peerage, as well. Continue reading “Blue Peter appeal to save Great Britain from extinction”
Scandal has erupted in a contemporary London office, with the introduction of gender neutral toilets.
‘Unseemly’ male bathroom antics, have been witnessed by female colleagues, who claim that ‘sacred informal etiquette has been broken.’ Continue reading “Gender Neutral Toilets are causing a bit of a kerfuffle”
Concerns are growing amongst the group dubbed ‘new men’, that their partners have rumbled their inner Neanderthal nature.
Psychologists have defined this internal world as their sub-conscious ‘Benny Hill’. Now women have rumbled their little game and are not happy about it. Awkward questions have been raised. Continue reading “New Men are barely evolved semi-sentient apes”
Church of England officials are horrified at the Conservatives latest parliamentary bill; proposing to bring Easter forward, in a bid to resurrect Margaret Thatcher.
With hope fading fast for a satisfactory end to the Brexit shit-shamble, this radical plan seems the only option. The exhumation of the Iron Lady seems the only way to rekindle the belief of the Tory Faithful.
Continue reading “Margaret Thatcher to be resurrected on Easter Sunday”
Staff at a well known South London, Builders Merchants were left dumbfounded yesterday. A woman entered the branch and knew exactly what she needed to buy.
Staff initially felt uncomfortable at the unusual turn of events. Her presence, immediately, doubled the IQ in the building and she appeared resistant to their ‘friendly banter.’ Continue reading “Builders Merchants stunned when a woman knows exactly what she wants”