It is with heavy heart that I announce my retirement from snarky commentary on world events. I am embarking on a new, exciting endeavour. Inspired by my close friend, Jared “Nepotizzy” Kushner, I am going to hang out my shingle. (Sorry for the old-timey phrase, it means I’m going into business.)
The International Order of Puppeteers has chosen this year’s winner of Puppeteer of the Year recipient, sock puppet master Vladislav Pupin.
News of Pupin’s win broke last night, after winning the award with a first-ever unanimous vote by IOP judges. “This big win is not surprising,” according to puppet show critic, Manolo CalcetÍn. “Pupin’s ability to manipulate multiple puppets while keeping his audiences mesmerized is ‘unmatched’ in the world today.”
Not long ago, I was made aware of Republican congressman Tim Wahlberg’s comment that “God would ‘take care of climate change if it becomes a real problem’”.
Now I just want to assure Timbo that climate change is, in fact “a real
problem”. Hurricanes, wildfires, sea levels rising, air quality… all these
things are getting worse and worse for you little humans.