Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.
MP and Toy Soldier Mark Francois has been publicly outed as
a secret Ninja. Mark’s alter ego was revealed when he publicly announced that
he had signed a death warrant on an Anti-Brexit campaigner.
It’s long been supposed that Mark was no stranger to silently
delivering death, having previously admitted peeling potatoes on a Territorial Army
camping trip to Wiltshire. What surprised onlookers was that he was so versed
in the most covert and feared of the martial arts.
Appalled at the quality of the current candidates, and their frequent references to ‘what she would have done’, Maggie Thatcher has decided to return from the dead and stand for election as Leader of the Conservative Party.
Cricket, often considered an elitist sport has now become so diversified that a former state school pupil has joined the national team, albeit as Waterboy.
In order to broaden the games appeal, the ECB have allowed a non-Public School boy to become associated with the team. The appointment of Ian Napton, formerly of Knappers Comprehensive, Birmingham, marks a significant attitudinal change within the cricket establishment.
The National Association of Seers, Psychics and Mediums (NASPAM), has asked everyone to be on the lookout for fake psychics. Their ‘I Saw You Coming’ report highlights cases where people in great emotional need have been fleeced by predatory, unregistered, con artists.