Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.
Consternation in Eastbourne as an exciting new arts and theatre complex wins the countries top architectural prize. The award of The Napton, given to the new building or installation that best exemplifies use of material and space in a contemporary setting; is seen as a major endorsement of the council’s controversial £320 Million cultural hub project.
However, critics, Philistines and other illiterati, claim this is the council wasting the people’s money, once again. There was much local opposition to the Mayor’s vanity project. Continue reading “Architectural award goes to a field covered in tarmac”
As the White Hart Lane stadium redevelopment nears completion, plans to rename the nearest underground station get underway.
Football fans have been invited to choose the new name for White Hart Lane Tube Station. However, the authorities have clearly learned nothing from the ‘Boaty McBoatface’ incident. Continue reading “White Hart Lane tube station to be renamed ‘Constant Disappointment’”
After a successful campaign by local residents a school in Birmingham has succeeded in getting lessons in being nice to each other, removed from the curriculum. It turns out that the religiots are against it.
The controversy was about same sex relationships. Whilst the religiots were keen to stress they were not anti-homosexuality, they just didn’t want their children learning that it existed. Continue reading “A Birmingham School drops lessons in being nice to each other after a campaign by followers of archaic death cults”
Inspired by the Netflix series on tidying up, Ian Napton decided to take himself in hand and Kondo his porn collection.
Having been single for many years, Ian had assembled a significant collection of Gentleman’s Particulars, re-organisation was going to be a big job. Continue reading “Ian Napton applies The Kondo Method to his porn collection”
It was with some trepidation that Ian and his wife Gillian began a single storey kitchen extension on their mid-terrace, Victorian property. Having had a mixed experience with builders over the years, they were understandably concerned there would be significant disruption.
Their existing kitchen was too small and they wanted to increase space by extending into the garden. Several properties in their road had already had this type of work done. Continue reading “Ian Napton was stunned to his socks when his builders did a great job, finished on time and didn’t try to shag his teenage daughter”
At Napton & Co they believe that ‘where there’s blame, there’s a claim’ and as the PPI work dries up they are looking for new things to get compensation from. Their latest money generating wheeze is to try and sue The National Lottery.
Ian Napton explains, “When people see all the adverts showing ordinary people winning life changing sums of money, they are led to believe it can happen to them too. Of course we all know it can’t, but it doesn’t stop people handing over the hard earned readies every week.” Continue reading “Have you been mis-sold a lottery ticket? Were you promised riches beyond compare? Then one legal firm thinks they can get you your money back”