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Sir Drinkalot

Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.

Tory MP Mark Francois revealed to be a Ninja Assassin

Fat Ninja

MP and Toy Soldier Mark Francois has been publicly outed as a secret Ninja. Mark’s alter ego was revealed when he publicly announced that he had signed a death warrant on an Anti-Brexit campaigner.

It’s long been supposed that Mark was no stranger to silently delivering death, having previously admitted peeling potatoes on a Territorial Army camping trip to Wiltshire. What surprised onlookers was that he was so versed in the most covert and feared of the martial arts.

You WANT sOME?

Typing BBC into Google gave Grandma a bit of a shock

Oh, so that is a BBC

Nanny Napton’s children bought her a Laptop so she could stay in touch with her growing family. Ian, her 14-year-old grandson was charged with teaching her how to use it.

After a few basic lessons she was hooked up to social media accounts, had been shopping online, was commenting on articles and threads and looking at photographs galore on Instagram.

Continue reading “Typing BBC into Google gave Grandma a bit of a shock”

Maggie Thatcher returns to stand in the Tory Leadership Race

Maggie's back

Appalled at the quality of the current candidates, and their frequent references to ‘what she would have done’, Maggie Thatcher has decided to return from the dead and stand for election as Leader of the Conservative Party.

This highly unusual step is being taken as the pool of potential leaders is considered to be, ‘the worst in living memory‘. Her supporters insist Maggie can once again unite the country, even if it’s in unadulterated hatred.
Continue reading “Maggie Thatcher returns to stand in the Tory Leadership Race”

Controversy as ex-state school pupil joins England Cricket as Waterboy

Got ya, you bastard

Cricket, often considered an elitist sport has now become so diversified that a former state school pupil has joined the national team, albeit as Waterboy.

In order to broaden the games appeal, the ECB have allowed a non-Public School boy to become associated with the team. The appointment of Ian Napton, formerly of Knappers Comprehensive, Birmingham, marks a significant attitudinal change within the cricket establishment.

Continue reading “Controversy as ex-state school pupil joins England Cricket as Waterboy”

National Psychic Association warns of the danger of fake psychics

Psychic Crystal Ball

The National Association of Seers, Psychics and Mediums (NASPAM), has asked everyone to be on the lookout for fake psychics. Their ‘I Saw You Coming’ report highlights cases where people in great emotional need have been fleeced by predatory, unregistered, con artists.

If you’re concerned your psychic may not be real, and you want to hand over your money to properly accredited fleecers, you should only use NASPAM registered mediums. Continue reading “National Psychic Association warns of the danger of fake psychics”

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