Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.
Following Boris Johnson’s positive test, Mark Francois is to be the next Prime Minister
Downing Street sources quickly identified the touchy-feely Boris Johnson as the super-spreader. Consequently, everyone he has had contact with has been isolated, including all cabinet ministers. Now, the search for a new leader is on.
Colin Jackson, described by those who know him as, ‘absolutely mental’, ‘a complete nutter’, and ‘a right laugh’, has been diagnosed by a leading psychiatrist as, ‘a bit of a prat’.
Professor Fraud explains, “In our clinic, we see many such cases. There is an assumption that strange behaviour in a public makes someone ‘a character’. This is false. Just because people are too nice to say anything doesn’t ever make ‘being a prat’ socially acceptable.
Ironically, given the number of wankers living in the UK, there is a significant shortage of British sperm donors. The shortfall in national sperm stock is made up by foreign donors, with Scandinavian sperm proving to be the most popular.