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Sir Drinkalot

Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.

National Psychic Association warns of the danger of fake psychics

Psychic Crystal Ball

The National Association of Seers, Psychics and Mediums (NASPAM), has asked everyone to be on the lookout for fake psychics. Their ‘I Saw You Coming’ report highlights cases where people in great emotional need have been fleeced by predatory, unregistered, con artists.

If you’re concerned your psychic may not be real, and you want to hand over your money to properly accredited fleecers, you should only use NASPAM registered mediums. Continue reading “National Psychic Association warns of the danger of fake psychics”

Facial recognition system fails to identify MPs, Lawyers & Estate Agents second face

facial recognition software

Following installation at major airports, train stations and ports, concerns have been raised at the higher than expected rate of recognition failure in automated face-reader security systems.

The system has a 99.9% success rate when analysing faces from any cultural or racial background and in various light settings. Initially the operators of the system were puzzled as to why a distinct group of people were being rejected by the scanners. Continue reading “Facial recognition system fails to identify MPs, Lawyers & Estate Agents second face”

Architectural award goes to a field covered in tarmac

Architectural award for tarmac covered field

Consternation in Eastbourne as an exciting new arts and theatre complex wins the countries top architectural prize. The award of The Napton, given to the new building or installation that best exemplifies use of material and space in a contemporary setting; is seen as a major endorsement of the council’s controversial £320 Million cultural hub project. 

However, critics, Philistines and other illiterati, claim this is the council wasting the people’s money, once again. There was much local opposition to the Mayor’s vanity project. Continue reading “Architectural award goes to a field covered in tarmac”

White Hart Lane tube station to be renamed ‘Constant Disappointment’

White Hart Lane

As the White Hart Lane stadium redevelopment nears completion, plans to rename the nearest underground station get underway.

Football fans have been invited to choose the new name for White Hart Lane Tube Station. However, the authorities have clearly learned nothing from the  ‘Boaty McBoatface’ incident. Continue reading “White Hart Lane tube station to be renamed ‘Constant Disappointment’”

A Birmingham School drops lessons in being nice to each other after a campaign by followers of archaic death cults

Kids being kids

After a successful campaign by local residents a school in Birmingham has succeeded in getting lessons in being nice to each other, removed from the curriculum. It turns out that the religiots are against it.

The controversy was about same sex relationships. Whilst the religiots were keen to stress they were not anti-homosexuality, they just didn’t want their children learning that it existed. Continue reading “A Birmingham School drops lessons in being nice to each other after a campaign by followers of archaic death cults”

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