Author: The Crown Prince

As you can see from his regal bearing his majesty is a fine specimen of ape hood. By way of disclaimer any suggestion of parties involving a Prince of the Realm are unfounded.

Stay Alert and keep 2 metres away from The Daily Mail

People are asked to stay at least 2 meters away from the Daily Mail and their readers.

The Government has urged people to stay alert. As the lockdown is lifted, the chances of accidental contact with The Daily Mail increase to dangerous levels.

Stay Alert, Stay Away from The Daily Mail
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God, the Big G, the Lad Himself, has decided to self-isolate

He has been a little under the weather lately. Concerns about his health surfaced when he noted his ambrosia tasted a little off. Feeling shivery with a dry cough and his sense of taste and smell is absent, Dr McCoy, G’s personal physician, has confined Our Lord to quarters, for the next two weeks.

God’s just being careful
While God’s away, prayers will be unanswered, keys unfound and orgasms unsatisfied

Netflix to buy ITV 1970s comedy, Crossroads and Mrs Brown’s Boys

Netflix is to reduce streaming quality by buying ITV’s 1970s comedy, back episodes of Crossroads and Mrs Brown’s Boys.

I’m a man! and that is the joke

The Internet is struggling to cope with the increased demand, caused by so many people self-isolating and home working. As a result, the streaming giant needs to reduce the amount of material being downloaded from its servers.

What do you mean Mrs Brown’s Boys is poor quality?

Hipster traumatised after buying coffee from a chain

Millennial hipster, Skye Nation, was being comforted by friends after undergoing a traumatic coffee buying experience in the multi-national drinks chain, Café Costabucks.

Trouble started when his favourite trendy bespoke coffee shop was closed, due to a ‘pop-up muffin’ day. Skye was unable to attend due to his gluten sensitivity.

Coffee shop closed
Sorry we are not serving over-priced coffee
Hipsters, Really?