Millennial hipster, Skye Nation, was being comforted by
friends after undergoing a traumatic coffee buying experience in the multi-national
drinks chain, Café Costabucks.
Trouble started when his favourite trendy bespoke coffee
shop was closed, due to a ‘pop-up muffin’ day. Skye was unable to attend due to
his gluten sensitivity.
Liam Fox, Britain’s premiere trade negotiator has announced,
without a hint of irony, that he has successfully managed to negotiate a post-Brexit
trade deal with South Korea.
Under the terms of the deal, we will maintain exactly the
same trading conditions that we had with South Korea under the EU.
The delicate and complex negotiations have taken many hours
in front of a photocopier with a bottle of tippex.
More? Surely not!
The BBC’s Royal Correspondent, Ian Napton, is reportedly near death after yet another Royal Wedding.
Sources have revealed that the veteran broadcaster has expressed so much ejaculate whilst covering this year’s Weddings and Birth’s that he has almost no fluid left in his body. He exists as little more than a desiccated husk.
Continue reading “BBC Correspondent almost spaff’ed to death after latest Royal Wedding”
St Credulous College are offering a 3 year degree course in Game of Thrones. The prestigious university has taken this unusual step in order to address criticism that it wasn’t admitting less able students, from poorer backgrounds. Continue reading “St Credulous College is to offer a degree in Game of Thrones”
Protestors were out in force, in Central London, in protest at the number of protest marches being held in the city.
The campaign started after the latest protest march caused some inconvenience to city folk. Londoners decided they had had enough, and formed their own protest group. Shortly afterwards, they took to the streets, in a largely peaceful protest. Continue reading “Protestors protesting about Protest Marches run into counter protest”
Ian McNapton, Scotland’s Minister for Sport, has put forward a motion to make March 22nd a new Bank Holiday. Mr McNapton was trying to restore the nation’s morale after the side’s disastrous performances in the recent Euro20 qualifying games.
Unfortunately, everyone who saw Scotland play thought, “Same shite, different day. This lot would manage to finish second in a game of Solitaire” Continue reading “Scotland to get extra Bank Holiday to celebrate Euro20 success”