Financial Services

TSB to improve customer service by closing their branches

In a radical shift of strategy, the TSB is to improve its customer service by closing their branches.

Recently the troubled bank has beaten off some stiff competition from their rivals in order to produce the worst customer service in banking. Which? commented, “That takes some doing”.

TSB, the bank that likes to say ‘Your on your own, mate!”

FCA Forced to clean up their own mess

The regulator tasked with cleaning up the Financial Services industry has been found to have been in need of cleaning its own act up.

The Financial Conduct Authority, frequently compared in terms of usefulness with chocolate teapots, has admitted its staff don’t have the best standards of behaviour around the office.

There was ordure, by the bucket load

Fat Cats get to work fewer hours for more money

Fat Cat City workers are demanding that they should now only have to work part-time hours.

Traders, Big Wigs and other City types have complained that the long hours they work cause them to have insufficient time to spend all of their money, and they should now be allowed to work from 9.00 till 4.00 only.

Buy! Buy! Sell! Sell! Right, time to trouser the readies