Monkey Business

Corbyn confirms support for 2nd Brexit referendum or does he?

Jeremy Corbyn Makes up his mind

Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed that the Labour Party will campaign to Remain in the EU under a second referendum, which is not happening, unless Britain supports a decision to leave.

In the clearest statement yet from the Labour supremo, it was announced that Labour might support Brexit, or it might not, and it definitely wouldn’t support no deal or a damaging Tory Brexit unless the Unions said it was okay to do so, which they haven’t so far.

In, Out, Shake it all about!

Tommy Robinson to update his Trip Advisor entry for Pentonville Hotel

Tommy Robinson

Top Trip Advisor reviewer, Tommy Robinson, returns to The Pentonville Hotel to see if it’s taken his previous comments on board.

Last time Tommy stayed at The Pentonville he only gave it a one-star rating. He was very critical of the facilities, food and atmosphere. He also felt that the room service was far below the standard expected from such a busy hotel.

The Pen’s Governor, Ian Napton, says they’ve taken notice of Tommy’s comments and have worked hard to make major improvements.

it’s enough to drive you stir crazy!

EU bans the sale of Just For Men hair dye because it’s sexist

Just For Men

The best-selling hair colour brand, used by millions of men has been banned as sexist.

Under EU anti-discrimination rules the hair dye is considered to be insulting and demeaning to those who are not Men, those who aren’t sure if they are Men, Men who want to be Men, Women who want to be Men, Women who want to be Women but look like Men, Women who want their Men to be Men and Women who want their Men to be someone else.

Tu es sérieuse !

Judge rules that ‘You know politicians lie, if you believe them it’s your fault’

Judge rules in favour of politicians

Lord Justice Ian Napton has clarified an earlier court ruling by confirming that politicians lie, you know they lie so it’s your own fault if you believe anything they say.

The landmark ruling came about after Mark Taylor got fed up with being lied too. He crowd-funded a court action, in order to try to hold, just, one politician to account. Mr Taylor argued that as a politician is a servant of the people, they had a duty to act honestly and failure to do so was ‘mis-conduct in a public office’.

Read more lies here!

Boris Johnson announces new points based immigration test

What's your shade?

As part of his campaign to say anything in order to become Prime Minister further details of Boris Johnson’s points-based immigration system have emerged.

New arrivals will be given a points value based on how Brown they are according to The Painters Colour Chart. The darker the shade the fewer the points.

Due to Liverpool’s high sun bed usage some residents may get caught at airport security, but the Government thinks this is a small price to pay.

Read More Here

£20,000 train ticket after Prince Charles used GWR’s On-Line booking site

The Royal Household’s annual budget came under scrutiny yet again today after it was revealed that the Prince of Wales had spent £20,000 on a train journey from London to Port Talbot.

It is understood that where the Prince would ordinarily allow his Private Secretary’s team to take care of such mundane matters, he was intrigued to have a go at booking a train ticket online himself, with expensive consequences.

One does ones best!
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