Monkey Business

Bin man distresses middle-class shoppers by sneaking into Waitrose

Ian Napton, a Bin Man from Hastings managed to sneak into his local Waitrose, much to the shock of regular customers.

Waitrose Spokesman, Neil Jackson, said, “We would like to apologise to all our customers for the presence of an unskilled manual worker, in the store. We understand that some shoppers were disturbed by the experience. We would like reassure our customers that we have increased security and don’t expect a repetition of this distressing behaviour.” Continue reading “Bin man distresses middle-class shoppers by sneaking into Waitrose”

Satire under attack as Wetherspoons proves it can’t take a joke

The delightful pub chain JD Wetherspoons has started legal action against a Twitter parody account. It wants Twitter to reveal who is behind the very funny account. 

Here is a link to The Independent’s report

At The Chatty Chimp we believe in the right to take the mickey out of the great and the good. It is why we exist. Taking the piss is a very British trait, our culture is littered with irreverent, profane and satirical swipes at the establishment. 

Using the law, because you’re rich, to shut up dissenting voices, maybe legal but does not strike us as being very moral. 

We are asking all of our readers to follow @Wetherspoon__UK on Twitter and if possible, offer them your support. 

Wetherspoons removed their twitter account some time ago, which is a bit of a shame. 

Is a career in IT all it’s cracked up to be?

After leaving school Mavis was keen to pursue a career in IT but ended up working on a Broadband helpline. 

“I was really keen on IT, I thought it was a fast changing, growing industry with really good career prospects and where it wouldn’t matter that I was a woman.”

She added, “My Computer Science degree should have allowed me to find a job where I could develop my skills and build a career but it never happened. After a year of applications, interviews and rejections, I was desperate so a I took a job on a Broadband helpline.” Continue reading “Is a career in IT all it’s cracked up to be?”

M&S shares rise sharply as middle-aged man goes on his bi-annual shopping spree

A middle-aged British man faced up to the horror of his biennial clothes shopping trip today.

Ian Napton, from Wiltshire, headed for his local branch of Marks and Spencer for a wallet-emptying day of buying safe, unfashionable shirts, jeans, chinos, a dressing gown and a new pair of slippers.

Continue reading “M&S shares rise sharply as middle-aged man goes on his bi-annual shopping spree”

Top Shop live up to their name with their new catalogue

Top Shop, this week, reveal their revolutionary new lines. Under the guidance of the exciting young designer, Tara Tara, they have revolutionised their range and gambled on significant changes in fashion.

Mayanna Schmidt, Top Shop’s social media liaison and key influencer, said, “Over the last couple of years we’ve seen that nationalism, patriotism, the military and the super-rich privileged elite have become on trend. Our new range reflects these changes in key social values.”  Continue reading “Top Shop live up to their name with their new catalogue”

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