Monkey News

All the news from Monkey Island

Mark Francois to stand in for Boris Johnson

Following Boris Johnson’s positive test, Mark Francois is to be the next Prime Minister

Downing Street sources quickly identified the touchy-feely Boris Johnson as the super-spreader. Consequently, everyone he has had contact with has been isolated, including all cabinet ministers. Now, the search for a new leader is on.  

I always new my time would come, I’m ready to serve my country, where is my potato-peeler?