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As Theresa’s last day at work approaches, Downing Street staff ponder ideas for a suitable leaving gift

Bye Theresa, don't let the door hit you on the way out

As a bicycle rack is installed outside 10 Downing Street and a taxpayer-funded padlock is being wrapped as a welcome gift for the new Prime Minister, staff are preparing to say their farewells to Theresa May.

Ideas are being considered for what would constitute a suitable farewell gift, and a suggestion box has been left in the hallway, just behind the famous black front door, where all staff can discreetly leave suggestions.

What should we say?

Climate protestor tested positive for Banana and Salted Caramel Milkshake

Milkshake testing

A Conservative MP has been praised for saving dozens of fatcat bankers from a potential milkshaking.

The protestor who burst into the bankers’ dinner party was later found to have minute quantities of ‘a dairy-related substance’ on her hands and clothes, indicating she had recently been in the presence of milkshake, or a similar deadly weapon such as yoghurt.

Do You want some? Do you?

Charming and poignant comedy about growing older

All Change

Printers Playhouse hosted a poignant new comedy play about growing old last week. A sweet delight, All Change told the heart-warming story of elderly Ivor and his long suffering daughter Lily, whilst the audience munched on cupcakes raising funds for the Alzheimers Society Cupcake Day.

All Change is based on close family experience and ‘Ivor’ ran the Brighton Marathon recently, complete with his tea-cosy on his head, a combination of sponsorship and selling cupcakes raising over £600 for the Alzheimers Society.

Continue reading “Charming and poignant comedy about growing older”

Devastation as a nice couple adopt Bouncer, the psychotic Labrador

Bad Labrador

A Hampshire couple are having their sanity tested to destruction by a newly arrived Hungarian rescue dog. 

Peter and Mary Davies, from Fareham, adopted a two year old Labrador cross last week. “He’s an utter nutter, a total mentalist,” Peter told us. “He destroyed all the beds and toys which belonged to our previous dog within half an hour of arriving, and Mary can’t get off the settee without him trying to hump her. He barks at everything and has taken a special dislike to Gary on Coronation Street. I don’t know if we’ll be able to get the carpets clean again.”

More about Bouncer
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