Ina radical re-modernisation the upcoming Tory Leadership Contest is to be decided by cage fighting with the winner becoming the ‘Ultimate Fu**ing C**t’.
Standard UFC Rules apply; no hair-pulling, scratching, name calling, although back-stabbing is mandatory. The winner is the last FC standing. Continue reading “Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC”
Richard Corke decided to take a sabbatical from work, so he could go and find himself. Whilst he was happy with the result, it turns out everyone else was less than impressed. Continue reading “Middle-aged man takes a year off to ‘find himself’ and discovers he’s some kind of ‘c**t’”
House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
Dear Sir Graham,
It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself. Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”
Charles Darwin has interrupted his 136-year death to correct a fundamental error in his seminal “On the Origin of Species”.
While many of Darwin’s assertions remain unquestionably true, such as religion being utterly batshit and pigeons being dinosaurs in disguise, the bearded Victorian revenant apologised for underestimating humanity’s ability to produce Brexit. Continue reading “Sorry about Brexit, says Charles Darwin”
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I regret that it is necessary for me to publicly apologise for my behaviour.
It is with great sadness, I find, that once again it has been discovered that I have been a naughty boy.
On this occasion I would like to offer a full, an insincere apology, to my wife/my constituents/ the British People/The House of Commoners/ my wife again/my employer/my friends/my friends husbands/the wife’s friends husbands and finally my wife. Continue reading “That Boris Johnson apology, to Parliament, in full”
Today, the PC Brigade unveiled their new range of Christmas Card, for the upcoming holiday season.
The card was designed to be as respectful as possible to everyone’s personal, religious and political views. Although it’s caused some controversy with Christmas Traditionalists. Continue reading “Totally PC Christmas Card unveiled”