Monkey Life

Telling stories about everyday monkey life

Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death

Ian Napton, a perfectly healthy man, in his early thirties, insists that as he is suffering from a slight cold he’s on the verge of death.

NHS Doctor
A few days in bed will do the trick

It was horrible, I felt a bit of a sniffle and had a couple of sneezes and that was it, I was done in. Of course I immediately took to my bed, armed with nothing more than a couple of good books, my mobile, the laptop, the TV Remote and a Classic Car magazine. There was no telling how long I was going to be off my feet, I thought I was going to die.”

Man reading a porn mag
Just a little light reading, darling!
Help, I’m dying, bring soup…

Middle-aged man loses his dignity at the office Xmas party

Uproar was caused at the A.N.Y office party, following an alleged assault to a middle-aged man’s dignity.

Events unfolded following the onslaught of a free bar and insubstantial canapes. Whilst Chumbawamba was in full swing on the dancefloor, Robin from accounts, dressed as Santa, offered to show Anna from H.R his grinding. Alarmingly, she retorted ‘Get lost Grandpa!’, causing widespread guffawing and a distinctive dent to his ego.

hI-hO! hI-hO It’s off to work we go!

Xmas tensions rise as husband decorates the house Boris Blue

Tensions are mounting, between a politically disparate couple, in the wake of the general election result.

Contentions reached fever pitch, when Ian Napton surprised his wife Gillian, by redecorating their semi-detached house, entirely with Boris Blue festive decorations. Delighted with his handy work, Ian commented, ‘Boris is our man for sure. I consider myself thoroughly middle-class, especially as I’ve bought a four-wheel-drive on finance, wear Barbour wellies and jeer at homeless people.’

What Ho! Look at me I’m alright Jack!