Monkey Life

Telling stories about everyday monkey life

White Middle-Aged Atheist manages to go a whole day without being a racist di*k

Middle aged white not racist

A Middle-Aged, White, Working-Class, Atheist has managed to navigate his way through a large, ethnically diverse, capital city without succumbing to murdering people he didn’t like.

Daniel Napton (54), from Hastings, spent the day quietly going about his business in London without so much as a thought of acting on racial, misogynistic or homophobic prejudices because, as it turns out, he doesn’t actually have any. Continue reading “White Middle-Aged Atheist manages to go a whole day without being a racist di*k”

Under GDPR police are unable to arrest a graffiti artist who used his own name

Graffiti Artist

After tagging his own name, a graffiti artist has got away with his crime after Police admitted they were powerless to act, under GDPR.

Under GDPR anyone whose information is held by  third party has to give explicit consent for their data to be used. However, without the explicit consent of the artist, police are unable to act on this information. Continue reading “Under GDPR police are unable to arrest a graffiti artist who used his own name”

A Birmingham School drops lessons in being nice to each other after a campaign by followers of archaic death cults

Kids being kids

After a successful campaign by local residents a school in Birmingham has succeeded in getting lessons in being nice to each other, removed from the curriculum. It turns out that the religiots are against it.

The controversy was about same sex relationships. Whilst the religiots were keen to stress they were not anti-homosexuality, they just didn’t want their children learning that it existed. Continue reading “A Birmingham School drops lessons in being nice to each other after a campaign by followers of archaic death cults”

As psychologists prove men and women are not meant to live together, Marriage Guidance counsellors offer a full refund

Husband and wife don't get on

Bewildered marriage guidance counsellors, were forced to return customer’s money, admitting that men and women really are from different planets.

With the ‘new man’ allegedly stepping up to the plate, psychologists initially aspired to bridge the chasm in marital communication. Researching how each sex felt their emotional needs were best met, psychologists quickly found a raging gulf between view points.

Continue reading “As psychologists prove men and women are not meant to live together, Marriage Guidance counsellors offer a full refund”

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