In Edinburgh, at the World’s largest comedy festival, ‘Bozo’ Johnson gets a one star review from The Scotsmen.
His agent said, “Obviously we’re disappointed that Bozo’s clown show wasn’t better recieved. We put almost no work into preparing for the festival and we’re gutted that the reviewers didn’t acknowledge the complete lack of effort.”
Bozo gets one1
A record number of call outs to the London Fire Brigade, has sparked an urgent investigation.
After an epic volume of incidents, where victims became trapped in their wardrobes, ‘heat stroke and confusion’, were thought to be the prime suspects.
On closer inspection however, it became evident that the casualties were in fact, ‘attempting to escape to Narnia.’
Come on in!
A middle aged woman has sparked outrage, as she ‘failed to participate in generic bemoaning of the heatwave.’
In an act which has been described as, ‘quite frankly defiant and un-British’, Gillian Napton continued with her everyday duties, in an ‘unflappable’ manner.
Keep cool and carry on!
We don’t normally write Opinion columns, that is not our thing. However, one of our writers was a little irritated at the antics of the political monkeys. He submitted this piece. We sent it back, explaining it was Op Ed rather than satire. He pointed out that Jeremy Clarkson, James May and The Hamster were allowed one serious piece a year. We relented.
We would like to reinforce Colin’s comment that at Chatty we are politically unaffiliated. Whilst many stories are anti-government, that is because they are the government and in a position of power. We welcome submissions from across the political spectrum, (except Tommy Robinson, he can f**k off)
According to inside sources, the Lib Dems have finally chosen someone as Party Leader.
Details are sketchy at the moment. The only known fact is that the Lib Dems have appointed someone as Party Leader. Rumour suggests the someone in question is a woman, although it’s still not clear if someone has been officially told that they have the job.
Someone finally gets the job
In a historic day for Britain’s finances The Pound achieved parity with The Peanut. The Governments devaluation strategy, using the Brexit mechanism, has worked. This morning The Pound plummeted past The Euro and The Banana before settling at one Peanut.
The Government claim this is a fantastic opportunity for their friends to trade peanuts, many had already short sold The Pound and filled their bird feeders.
More from The Organ Grinder