Following last year’s announcement of an additional 20,000 Bobbies, the Police have launched a nationwide search for them.
Anyone who has seen the 20,000 missing Bobbies is asked to contact their local police station.You’re nicked sunshine!
The latest celebrity to join the ‘coming out’ trend is Jeremy Clarkson, who stunned some people when he took to breakfast TV to publicly admitted his love of caravans.
In his statement, he revealed his life long passion for all things caravany. “It has always been an obsession of mine. When I was a kid I fell in love with the damn things, the way they swayed in a light breeze, let in the rain on a sunny day and held up all the traffic on the A303. Bliss!”“It’s their beauty, elegance and complete uselessness that does it for” says JC
In an audacious move by Dominic Cummings, all advisers at the Treasury are to be sacked and all official advice to the Prime Minister will come from a new “joint” team of advisers in Downing Street, provided that they agree with Mr Cummings. If they don’t, well, they can always feel the tread of the tyres as it rolls over them.Cumming The Merciless, ruler of country
Self proclaimed modern man, Ian Napton has been left in a state of shock, after his genius idea ‘to swerve Valentine’s Day’, hugely backfired.
Napton announced his intention to abstain from the ‘commercial venture, allegedly ‘to avoid belittling’ his wife Gillian, with a show of ‘demeaning patriarchal tradition.’Of course I love you darling, it’s just I can’t be bothered to get you anything
Ivor The Engine is to come out of retirement, it has been announced, along with his driver, Jones The Steam.
Following the government’s announcement on HS2, Welsh MPs have vociferously complained that the proposed route, from London to the Midlands and onward to the North, excludes Wales altogether, so they’ve decided to be ahead of the game on HS3, which will run from Caernarfon to Rhyl.Come on Ivor, you can do it!