Monkey News

All the news from Monkey Island

Mr Bigski’s plan for World domination almost complete as he takes control of Interpol

Russian supervillain, Mr Bigski’s, plan for World domination is almost complete. The last piece of the jigsaw fell into place when he assumed control of Interpol, the world’s police force.

Having orchestrated Brexit, the breakdown of global democracy, control of the oil and gas supply to the developed world, ownership of Chelsea FC and the election of Donald Trump, the Russian Supervillain’s plan to rule the world through ‘divide and conquer’ is almost complete. Continue reading “Mr Bigski’s plan for World domination almost complete as he takes control of Interpol”

Southern Fail regret to announce two months of delays and cancellations due to the unexpected arrival of autumn

National embarrassment of a rail company, Southern Fail, have regretfully announced that because of leaves on the line, train travellers can expect a continued programme of misery, despair and all around crappiness.

This weeks excuse is because of the unexpected arrival of autumn. Continue reading “Southern Fail regret to announce two months of delays and cancellations due to the unexpected arrival of autumn”

22 Year old intern, Giles Cavendish is the surprise appointment as the new Brexit Secretary

Following the expected resignation of Dominic Raab and most of Theresa May’s ministerial team, the Prime Minster makes a stunning political manoeuvre, designed to completely wrongfoot herself, by appointing a 22 year old graduate, Giles Cavendish, to the post of Brexit Secretary. Continue reading “22 Year old intern, Giles Cavendish is the surprise appointment as the new Brexit Secretary”

Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’

This week sees the return of the much loved game show, I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here.

The new season sees a thrilling new format, presaged by a series of preliminary heats which saw 8 Conservatives leave the camp ahead of the live final. Some contestants were clearly unhappy about leaving early, especially as they’re having to get by on a newspaper columnists salary, of £275,000 a year. Continue reading “Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’”

Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’

This week sees the return of the much loved game show, I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here.

The new season sees a thrilling new format, presaged by a series of preliminary heats which saw 8 Conservatives leave the camp ahead of the live final. Some contestants were clearly unhappy about leaving early, especially as they’re having to get by on a newspaper columnists salary, of £275,000 a year. Continue reading “Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’”

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