Mother's Day is an hour shorter this year and mums aren't happy

Mother’s Day is an hour shorter this year and mums aren’t happy about it

There have been calls for an inquiry as, this year, Mother’s Day marks the change to British Summer Time with the clocks springing forward, on 31 March 2019.

Whilst the clocks go forward on the last Sunday of March every year, this time the last Sunday of March coincides with Mothering Sunday.

Munching on a chocolate bar

Me? Have kids? You must be f**king joking

Contention in a Camberwell cafe escalated, when a thirty-something confessed that she had ‘absolutely zero desire’ to propagate the planet.

Speaking passionately amongst shocked peers and their offspring, Olivia Napton disclosed, ‘the only clock ticking in my body, is the one which is synchronised with last orders at the bar.’

Kids being kids

A Birmingham School drops lessons in being nice to each other after a campaign by followers of archaic death cults

After a successful campaign by local residents a school in Birmingham has succeeded in getting lessons in being nice to each other, removed from the curriculum. It turns out that the religiots are against it.

The controversy was about same sex relationships. Whilst the religiots were keen to stress they were not anti-homosexuality, they just didn’t want their children learning that it existed.