North Korea went to the polls to elect a new leader. In a surprise result, the people elected the only candidate, Kim Jong-Un, as Supreme Leader.
His win was emphatic, with Kim receiving 200% of the popular vote, a new record.
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Contention in a Camberwell cafe escalated, when a thirty-something confessed that she had ‘absolutely zero desire’ to propagate the planet.
Speaking passionately amongst shocked peers and their offspring, Olivia Napton disclosed, ‘the only clock ticking in my body, is the one which is synchronised with last orders at the bar.’
After a successful campaign by local residents a school in Birmingham has succeeded in getting lessons in being nice to each other, removed from the curriculum. It turns out that the religiots are against it.
The controversy was about same sex relationships. Whilst the religiots were keen to stress they were not anti-homosexuality, they just didn’t want their children learning that it existed.