Monkey News

All the news from Monkey Island

The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting in (insert location)

Right-thinking members of the NRA are tonight sending their thoughts and prayers to the victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (insert location)

Billy Bob Williams, on behalf of the NRA, immediately held a mentally ill person who would’ve done it anyway, responsible. And he was probably a Muslim, wasn’t he? Continue reading “The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting in (insert location)”

Aryan Air in a social media race row after they asked a black man to leave the plane

There was uproar on the Aryan Air flight, from Gatwick to Dublin, when Barry Gammon (54) found himself sitting next to Obi Okeke (36) from Streatham. A very public row broke out when Mr Gammon refused to sit next to Mr Okeke,  shouting,’ I’m not sitting next to a darkie. Its disgusting, I fly with Aryan Air so I don’t have too. If he sits next to me I’m gonna hit him.” Continue reading “Aryan Air in a social media race row after they asked a black man to leave the plane”

Kanye West’s New Anthem – Oh! Come All YE Faithful

Superstar, Kanye West has finally commented on his recent meeting with The President and revealed the real reason why he’s changed his name to YE.

Kanye was invited to The White House, for a super meeting with Donald Trump. Kanye expressed his love and admiration for The President. To which Mr Trump told him that to honour Kanye’s support for the “Make America Great Again” campaign, and to show he’s down with his homey’s, he’s renamed part of The White House, The West Wing. Continue reading “Kanye West’s New Anthem – Oh! Come All YE Faithful”

New tissue ranges announced including Teenager, Single Woman, Mum, Granny and Man Utd Fan

Following the recent row about changing Mansize tissues to a gender neutral term, one manufacturer has decided to expand their range, and cater for everyone.

Barry Loke, speaking for Stereotypical Tissues Inc, explained, “This is a tremendous opportunity for us to cash in on free publicity. We’ve decided to launch niche ranges of tissues, with the eventual aim of covering every cheap stereotype.” Continue reading “New tissue ranges announced including Teenager, Single Woman, Mum, Granny and Man Utd Fan”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd