Monkey News

All the news from Monkey Island

Is Theresa May’s new Suicide Minister planning to run around Beachy Head shouting “Don’t Jump!”?

On world Mental Health Day, Theresa May chose to announce the appointment of a Minister for Suicide Prevention.

The announcement was not accompanied by any figures relating to budgets and targets for the office and the title was added to an existing health ministers job role, prompting one commentator to note, “What is she going to do, run around Beachy Head shouting ‘Don’t Jump’ at the top of her voice?” Continue reading “Is Theresa May’s new Suicide Minister planning to run around Beachy Head shouting “Don’t Jump!”?”

DUP say “Thanks for the money, Theresa, but we’re off now”

Theresa May and Arlene Foster are on the verge of divorcing ahead of this months budget speech. This could spell disaster for Theresa May’s future plans, as without the support of the nice people from Norn Ireland her government doesn’t have a working majority and she may well lose her position.

It’s thought the split has occurred as the DUP have spent the £1 Billion Theresa gave them and without further funding, Arlene doesn’t see any point in running the country any longer.  Continue reading “DUP say “Thanks for the money, Theresa, but we’re off now””

Gerald Hancock denied benefits and declared fit for work despite being dead for 7 months

Tracy Hancock was disgusted to learn that her husband, Gerald, has been declared fit for work even though he was registered dead 7 months ago.

The issue came to light when the Department of Work and Pensions completed a home assessment of Mr Hancock’s mental and physical health. He was deemed fit for work as he had two legs, his mental health seemed unimpaired and he’d some communication skills. Continue reading “Gerald Hancock denied benefits and declared fit for work despite being dead for 7 months”

Favourite for this year’s Turner Prize is Ron Penfold’s used and discarded cardboard

Cardboard

Surprise, controversy and a little free publicity, in art world with a surprise favourite for this year’s  Turner Prize.

Initially, the piece appears as an uninteresting piece of used cardboard. Arranged in flat form, this 8′ x 10′ representation presents as carelessly thrown away. It’s palely lit by a distant, flickering, fluorescent light and, currently, on display in a rear service corridor at The State of It Gallery.  Continue reading “Favourite for this year’s Turner Prize is Ron Penfold’s used and discarded cardboard”

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