Brexit

Government to boost national mood with Meh! Britannia, Spitfire production and Jingoism

Meh! Britannia.

In a move to boost national morale, the UK Government is to introduce a “National Optimism Bill” implementing a number of motivational initiatives to “perk up” the beleaguered population, Meh! Britannia.

Inspired by Jacob Rees-Mogg playing “Rule Britannia” on his mobile phone, one initiative will see a “Mighty Wurlitzer” organ replacing the Speaker’s chair in the House of Commons; evoking the patriotism inherent in the Music Halls and Picture Houses of yesteryear. 

Notes from a small island

AI Programme, Tantrum Extremis v10, takes over Brexit negotiations

In an eleventh-hour attempt to snatch a vanquishment from the jaws of defeat in the EU trade negotiations, the Government is deploying a world-beating Artificially Intelligent trade negotiator called Tantrum Extremis. It is built by Agrada (the Mutant AI who successfully performed as a scapegoat for the A level grading fiasco).

I’ve got this ain in the diodes on my left side

Breaking News – Nicola Sturgeon’s Acceptance Speech

Can I just say how delighted I am by this result. With there only being one party in Scotland it was a real honour for us to finish second. Nothing characterises being Scottish more than losing, especially when winning seemed the easier option.

SNP, nearly winning
Scotland, the playground for the English Middle-Classes