Politics

Attempts to organise a piss-up in a brewery on hold

Education Secretary and human by pure technicality, Gavin Williamson, has today announced that his latest side project, attempting to organise a piss-up in a brewery, has been shelved indefinitely after a series of high-profile clangers resulted in multiple deaths. 

Party organiser, Gavin Williamson
I only wanted the chaps to have a nice time!

Political transfer market is open for business

A football-style transfer market has been suggested for politicians, some of whom are looking nervously over their shoulders.

The well-known cock-up artist and habitual liar, Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of Great Britain, leads the free transfer market, as no other country, not even America, is willing to take him off Britain’s hands.

Do i hear £20 and lick of my lolly for Boris?