He has been a little under the weather lately. Concerns about his health surfaced when he noted his ambrosia tasted a little off. Feeling shivery with a dry cough and his sense of taste and smell is absent, Dr McCoy, G’s personal physician, has confined Our Lord to quarters, for the next two weeks.While God’s away, prayers will be unanswered, keys unfound and orgasms unsatisfied
Millions of Brits are secretly relieved that the outbreak of the Corona Virus means they can stop hugging people they barely know.
For the last twenty years the British people have been sharing a series of ever more complex bear hugs. This unnatural invasion of personal space has left millions of people feeling, dirty, confused and exceedingly uncomfortable.Just a simple doff of the cap is all you need
“It was a serendipitous discovery, we were looking at creating a new vaginal douche and had been experimenting with scents based on the odours of celebrities, Gwyneth, Jim Davidson and Piers Morgan as examples.It must work, have you seen a vampire?
Met Office plans to upgrade their weather forecasting technology by rebooting Stonehenge.
The current IT system, at Weather Towers, has become obsolete so the Met Office has looked for other cost-effective methods for mis-predicting the weather. At a cost of £1.2B, a new supercomputer is too expensive, hence the Stonehenge reboot.The stone is wet, it must be raining!
Doctor Who actor and Richard E. Grant’s fictional best pal Paul McGann has revealed the secret to why he still looks pretty good at sixty – because he is actually a time traveller.Yes it is, a lot bigger