Doctor Who actor and Richard E. Grant’s fictional best pal Paul McGann has revealed the secret to why he still looks pretty good at sixty – because he is actually a time traveller.
Yes it is, a lot bigger
Science
After Boris Johnson was labelled an arse on national TV by another member of the public, scientists began to wonder how many times someone can be called an arse before they realise it’s them.
As yet another member of the public calls Boris an arse, what can science tell us?
Environmentalists have criticised a driver for topping his petrol tank up at the supermarket after he had done the weekly shop.
Ian Napton, a Social Worker, told us. “I was on my way out of Morrisons and thought I’d fill up the Fiesta as petrol tends to be a bit cheaper there than at my nearest garage. We’re off to see my family tomorrow and they’re 150 miles away. But when I headed to the shop to pay, a bunch of protesters with placards blocked my way and told me I was killing Polar Bears as I could have filled up tomorrow en route and now my car would emit more carbon monoxides due to being heavier with a full tank.”
Vote Green! We’re all going to die!