The Westminster Monkey House

Mr Braine resigns UKIP leadership despite having done nothing wrong

Richard Braine (UKIP) has resigned from his position as Party Leader, despite not having done anything wrong.

Remarkably, Mr Braine hadn’t slept with any of his younger members of staff, his mates’ wives or behaved inappropriately with a model, rent boy or Jeanette Krankie. Financially, he hadn’t failed to declare; income, connections to dodgy businessmen, unsolicited cash payments nor had he embezzled expenses. Surprisingly, he hadn’t lied, cheated or said anything that was remotely homophobic, racist or misogynistic.

Politician has an exemplary record, quits saying “I’m not cut out for politics”