The EU has delayed the response to Boris Johnson’s proposals
for a Withdrawal Agreement, as they cannot agree on the best way to tell him to
All 27 nations are united in agreeing that his proposals were
a publicity stunt in the first place and that he was never serious about coming
to an agreement. However, they have become divided as to how to tell him to do
Here pal, do one!
University Challenge has declared ‘Jeremy Corbyn’ as ineligible as an answer to any legitimate question, arsey host Jeremy Paxman has declared.
“Nothing has stumped us in almost sixty years, but this time we’ve met our match,” Paxman said. “You’d have thought it was easy, what with the country being run by a sock puppet with Dominic ‘Lurch’ Cummings’ hand up his arse. But even the question ‘Is Corbyn better than Johnson?’ proved unanswerable – a bit like deciding which Strictly competitor you hate the most.”
Here is your starter for 10, WTF?
A recent survey by the University of Having Too Much Free Time has listed what Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn Gives A F*ck About and Doesn’t Give A F*ck About.
Dr Peter Ribbler of the University’s Procrastination Department finally compiled the list on Tuesday and says about it, “We’re quite proud of compiling this list for absolutely no reason. It gives us a great insight into what Mr Corbyn could and couldn’t care less about. For anyone who does care, of course.”
We’ll keep the red flag flying high!
Murdered Labour MP Jo Cox is fine with Boris Johnson’s claim that the best way to honour her memory would be to “get on and deliver Brexit,” a spiritual medium has said.
“Granted, Jo was a staunch remainer when she was alive, but the afterlife has changed all that and now there’s nothing she wants more than to see Britain dragged out of the EU by a grotesque egomaniac who thinks he’s the Incredible Hulk,” spiritualist Penelope Hurst said.
Is there anybody there?
Today, at the Tory Party Conference, Boris Johnson unveiled his
big Brexit busting plan.
In short, Boris has pledged to get a big rubber and erase
the word ‘Backstop’ from Theresa May’s Withdrawl Agreement. Everything else
stays the same.
Today, in ‘not a Scooby’ news, this!