Boris beaten off

RIP – Boris ‘Bozo’ Johnson the best PM we never had

Sadly, Bozo Johnson has suddenly died. Details are sketchy but it appears he suffered an unfortunate accident with a mashie-niblick, after his best friend unexpectedly returned from golf. The lady of the house was unharmed.

Due to become Prime Minister, the untimely death of the noted scamp, womaniser and disingenuous motherfucker has deprived the country of one of the best leaders we never had.

Jeremy Chunt

RIP Jeremy Chunt – The man who beat off strong competition to become the most hated Tory MP

We are sad to report the untimely demise of controversial politician and fearless Health Service champion, Jeremy Chunt.

His outstanding political achievement was, as Health Secretary, becoming Britain’s most disliked politician. The value of this award shouldn’t be underestimated given the competition, within the Tory Government, for this top honour.

Many in the media had difficulty in correctly pronouncing his unusual surname, although Jim Naughtie and Justin Webb on Radio 4, famously, managed to get it right.

Britain's Kennedy, Bozo Johnson dies

RIP – Boris ‘Bozo’ Johnson the best PM we never had

Sadly, Bozo Johnson has suddenly died. Details are sketchy but it appears he suffered an unfortunate accident with a mashie-niblick, after his best friend unexpectedly returned from golf. The lady of the house was unharmed.

Due to become Prime Minister, the untimely death of the noted scamp, womaniser and disingenuous motherfucker has deprived the country of one of the best leaders we never had.

Daily Mail preaching to the choir

RIP – the lion hearted champion of truth, decency and traditional, white, middle-class values, that was The Daily Mail

In the modern era of high-quality online news websites, The Daily Mail has finally announced its imminent closure.

We haven’t printed any truthful news for nearly thirty years,” said Deputy Editor, Ian Napton. “Nobody here could accept how The Conservative Party treated Margaret, and our hearts haven’t quite been in it ever since. We run stories about house prices, cancer, immigrants, The Royal Family and the EU because people expect us to, but truthfully, I pay my twelve year old daughter a fiver a week to write those.”

RIP Sir Christopher Chode* MP a stalwart fighter for traditional Victorian values

Britain sadly lost one of it’s most passionate and vocal advocates for Victorian Values and Women’s Rights.

Few have gone further in protecting the legacy of women as property, than Sir Christopher Chode MP. A political titan, described as a man for whom the 20th Century never happened, a resolute upholder of tradition and defender of outdated modes of thought.