Monkey Games

Monkeys like sports.

Scottish Fitba sells television rights for 4 pints of Heavy, 3 sausage rolls and packet of Cheese and Onion crisps

Scottish fans were outraged when details of the latest fitba deal were announced. TV Sports giant, Sly, bought the tv rights to all Scottish League and Cup Fitba after a particularly long and heavy session in the Hey Pal pub in Glasgow’s East End.

Fitba fans across the nation feel their fitba has been demeaned and devalued by this cut price deal. Ginger Macreadie said “Aye, I ken we’re shite but we shuld a held oot for tattie scone.” Continue reading “Scottish Fitba sells television rights for 4 pints of Heavy, 3 sausage rolls and packet of Cheese and Onion crisps”

Outrage in Liverpool when Milner picks blue over red causing his team to lose, the silly tosser

A week has passed and the world has scarcely recovered from the shock of Salah United’s appalling collapse against Red Star Belgrade. This was the Champions League’s greatest upset since Manchester United’s stunning triumph against Young Boys of Bern, in the first round of matches. Continue reading “Outrage in Liverpool when Milner picks blue over red causing his team to lose, the silly tosser”

As Wayne Rooney wends his way to his retirement home the FA lines up a grand finale

This week Wayne Rooney will take a break from slaying the North American Soccer League (aka ‘Sunshine Meadows Retirement Home for the Slightly Too Slow to Play in Europe’) and return to the land in which he made his name.

This is, of course, in order to celebrate his international highlights; getting sent-off against Portugal and performing shambolically over a succession of major tournaments. Continue reading “As Wayne Rooney wends his way to his retirement home the FA lines up a grand finale”

Aaron Ramsey set for a big money transfer to a top European subs bench

Following the news that his Arsenal contract would not be renewed, Arsenal’s Welsh midfielder Aaron Ramsey looks set for a move away from the Emirates. Though he was initially linked with the likes of Liverpool and Manchester United, it seems that Ramsey might be set to follow in the footsteps of a number of great British exports. Continue reading “Aaron Ramsey set for a big money transfer to a top European subs bench”

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