Sport

Corona Virus upgraded to ‘kin serious now that a football match has been moved

Britain has admitted that the Coronavirus outbreak is really serious now that a football match has been cancelled. Manchester City will now play Arsenal at a later, less diseased, time.

Until now, with so few people actually dead in Britain, Coronavirus has merely been a tremendous excuse not to go to work, but the rearrangement of a Premiership match has shifted the public compass.

Of course it’s serious, we’ve had to delay kick off!

Spurs to play all their games behind closed doors

Officials at the club took the decision came following their game against RB Leipzig, which ended in a humiliating 0-3 defeat, and exit from The Champions League.

The club said that following recent results, and the managers style of play, it was only fair to protect the fans from having to watch the team.

It was the kindest thing we could do

Everton announce ‘Stone Cold’ Steve as their new manager

Everton FC, after days of speculation, finally dumped Marco Silva this week following a humbling 5-2 loss in the Merseyside Derby.

Just forty-eight hours later, the club has announced his replacement, the result of an ‘exhaustive’ search (aka, ringing up Rafa Benitez and being told to piss off).

Look, stop coparing us to Liverpool, we are just not that good!

WHL pitch will be ready for Jose’s goal-mouth bus

Spurs have confirmed that the asphalt and bus parking will be in place before Jose’s first game at WHL.

A spokesman for Tottenham Hotspur has confirmed that the new playing surface will be installed and all the bus parking lines painted before their next game. The new manager was very clear that buses should be able to line up in front of the goal, without damaging the surface of the pitch.

WHEN ONE PLAYS THE GAME ,REMEMBER THE GAME PLAYS YOU OR SOMETHING