Trumpety Trump

Everything you wanted to know about the Orange-a-tang in Chief

Trump says ‘Hey guys! these shootings aren’t cool’

What? What do you want me to do?

President Trump has caused widespread alarm again, this time on his own doorstep.

Following two high profile mass shootings in Texas and Ohio, the President’s language lurched at first towards cautious common sense and then to the actual bleeding obvious. “Perhaps more has to be done” he ventured, before going the whole hog, saying, “This has been going on for years, for years and years in our country and we have to get it stopped.

Bang Bang

Is Donald McTrump really Scottish?

The Leader of the free world, and President of the United States of America has made much of his Scottish Ancestry. However recent comments have cast doubt as to whether or not the Orange haired wunderkind is really Scottish.

Donald McTrump, speaking about various funding arrangements involving his lawyer and the odd sex worker suggest he may not be as tight fisted as a Scot. Continue reading “Is Donald McTrump really Scottish?”

Trump wants to build more terrific walls

Following the complete success of his first ‘bigly’ wall, Trump Builders Inc (Walls) are looking at European expansion.

Sarah Wannabee, WH spokesperson, explained, “Donald has been practising in his bedroom with his Lego set, and he’s really getting good at walls. Using his crayons, he’s identified several opportunities for new walls; North Africa, Ireland, Scotland, Germany, and China could all benefit from having “another prick in the wall”. Continue reading “Trump wants to build more terrific walls”

Tart with a Cart, Molly Malone, accuses Trump of cancelling his trip to Ireland to avoid taking responsibility for their illegitimate son, Ed Sheeran

White House spokesperson, Sarah Wannabe-Elsewhere, announced the cancellation of Donald Trump’s State Visit to Ireland. The reason for the cancellation was not clear, leading to speculation it was to avoid further embarrassment to America by their President. Continue reading “Tart with a Cart, Molly Malone, accuses Trump of cancelling his trip to Ireland to avoid taking responsibility for their illegitimate son, Ed Sheeran”

The Golf Game of the Century – What really happened when Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump

At their recent summit Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump in the century’s greatest ever golf match. In this battle, between two egotistical tyrants, one fluffed drive could result in a nuclear strike. World peace was at stake, and death stalked the practice ground. Continue reading “The Golf Game of the Century – What really happened when Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump”

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