Outrage in Liverpool when Milner picks blue over red causing his team to lose, the silly tosser

A week has passed and the world has scarcely recovered from the shock of Salah United’s appalling collapse against Red Star Belgrade. This was the Champions League’s greatest upset since Manchester United’s stunning triumph against Young Boys of Bern, in the first round of matches. Continue reading “Outrage in Liverpool when Milner picks blue over red causing his team to lose, the silly tosser”

Help us raise money for this year’s Children in Tweed appeal

The Chatty Chimp is proud to help raise funds for this year’s Children-in Tweed appeal.

Every year thousands of middle and upper class children are missing out, as their parents are unable to avoid bespoke tailored tweed suits. This leaves the children at risk of bullying, exclusion and ridicule from their Peer group.  Continue reading “Help us raise money for this year’s Children in Tweed appeal”

Southern Fail regret to announce two months of delays and cancellations due to the unexpected arrival of autumn

National embarrassment of a rail company, Southern Fail, have regretfully announced that because of leaves on the line, train travellers can expect a continued programme of misery, despair and all around crappiness.

This weeks excuse is because of the unexpected arrival of autumn. Continue reading “Southern Fail regret to announce two months of delays and cancellations due to the unexpected arrival of autumn”

As Wayne Rooney wends his way to his retirement home the FA lines up a grand finale

This week Wayne Rooney will take a break from slaying the North American Soccer League (aka ‘Sunshine Meadows Retirement Home for the Slightly Too Slow to Play in Europe’) and return to the land in which he made his name.

This is, of course, in order to celebrate his international highlights; getting sent-off against Portugal and performing shambolically over a succession of major tournaments. Continue reading “As Wayne Rooney wends his way to his retirement home the FA lines up a grand finale”

England Suffer Late Drop-Outs for completely pointless clash

The England squad has been hit by a number of late drop-outs for their vital home friendly against the United States. Even though the game has been ear-marked as a send-off for one of England’s all-time greats, a low attendance is expected, and several key players have declared themselves unavailable. Continue reading “England Suffer Late Drop-Outs for completely pointless clash”