The Government releases details of their Great Lockdown Escape. Every home will receive a vaulting horse, wood stove and shovel.
In his occasional address to the nation, Boris Johnson says that the Government wouldn’t be able to get everyone out at once. Some of you will have to remain locked up in lockdown.
You vill not escape, Englisher
Users of a social media app that appraises their answers to quizzes and questions, and then gives them assessments of their character, personality and other personal traits, have been stunned and horrified it’s started to reveal the truth about them.
Big Brother and all his mates are watching you
Determined to finish The Premier League season, the EPL will ensure all matches are completed by making teams play Subbuteo. This means they will not have to refund any money to TV Broadcasters, sponsors and various dodgy businessmen.
Not a stich up and no money changed hands say EPL
As many as 300 senior citizens have been arrested in up dawn raids nationwide today by Special Branch squads.
The security services acted swiftly on the discovery of a plot to storm the Department of Health building in London and hold Health Secretary Matt Hancock hostage.
Hell’s Grannies are back and this time they mean it
Lawyers acting on behalf of the new born son of Carrie Symonds are demanding a paternity test in the hope it can be proven that Boris Johnson is not the father.
