Man sells beloved family pet in order to afford a trip to the dentist

Colin Adams, had an agonising tooth, so he called the dentist. Not having visited the surgery for several years he was unaware of current dental charges. When he asked about the cost, receptionist said, “It’s somewhere between an arm and a leg.” She added, “The price will go up, obviously, if on further investigation, the dentist feels he needed a further week’s holiday, in Tuscany.
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Poverty “not as good as I expected,” says Catty Popkins

Failed pantomine villain Catty Popkins has said she would like to go back to having money, please, after just two days of watching daytime TV and wearing pyjamas in Tesco.

The former professional bigot, who had previously claimed that poverty was a lifestyle choice,  says she gave her new circumstances a jolly good go for most of the first day before deciding that having no money, opportunity or hope isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Continue reading “Poverty “not as good as I expected,” says Catty Popkins”

RIP Hatie Hopkins a great loss to a once proud nation

We are devastated to report the unfortunate and untimely death of beloved local celebrity, and freedom of speech campaigner, Hatie Hopkins.

Hatie rose to public prominence when she almost managed to open a successful market stall in Sugar Street. Subsequently, her much loved public appearances have drawn small crowds and attracted little attention. In an attempt to desperately increase her media profile, she proceeded to lose a series of high profile court cases. Eventually forcing her to sell her home and enter into an IVA.
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Tart with a Cart, Molly Malone, accuses Trump of cancelling his trip to Ireland to avoid taking responsibility for their illegitimate son, Ed Sheeran

White House spokesperson, Sarah Wannabe-Elsewhere, announced the cancellation of Donald Trump’s State Visit to Ireland. The reason for the cancellation was not clear, leading to speculation it was to avoid further embarrassment to America by their President. Continue reading “Tart with a Cart, Molly Malone, accuses Trump of cancelling his trip to Ireland to avoid taking responsibility for their illegitimate son, Ed Sheeran”

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