WHL pitch will be ready for Jose’s goal-mouth bus

Spurs have confirmed that the asphalt and bus parking will be in place before Jose’s first game at WHL.

A spokesman for Tottenham Hotspur has confirmed that the new playing surface will be installed and all the bus parking lines painted before their next game. The new manager was very clear that buses should be able to line up in front of the goal, without damaging the surface of the pitch.

WHEN ONE PLAYS THE GAME ,REMEMBER THE GAME PLAYS YOU OR SOMETHING

Mr Braine resigns UKIP leadership despite having done nothing wrong

Richard Braine (UKIP) has resigned from his position as Party Leader, despite not having done anything wrong.

Remarkably, Mr Braine hadn’t slept with any of his younger members of staff, his mates’ wives or behaved inappropriately with a model, rent boy or Jeanette Krankie. Financially, he hadn’t failed to declare; income, connections to dodgy businessmen, unsolicited cash payments nor had he embezzled expenses. Surprisingly, he hadn’t lied, cheated or said anything that was remotely homophobic, racist or misogynistic.

Politician has an exemplary record, quits saying “I’m not cut out for politics”