It’s the comments men make about my tits that really keeps me going, admits lady runner

Recent health survey results revealed an unexpected incentive for some women’s fitness drives.

An experienced runner, Gillian Napton, has attributed her consistent success in races, to the steady stream of hearty feedback, she receives from passing vehicles.

During her gruelling training sessions, often upwards of twenty kilometres, she admitted that she liked nothing better than a sharp horn blast or a wolf-whistle. Opening up to us she revealed, ‘’If I’m ever struggling with motivation in a race, all I think about are the warm, positive affirmations I receive, such as ‘nice pins’ or ‘you don’t get many of them for a pound’.” Continue reading “It’s the comments men make about my tits that really keeps me going, admits lady runner”

Seaborne Freight turns to Somali Pirates for help manning their non-existent fleet

Disquiet about Chris Grayling’s favourite ferry company, Seaborne Freight, continues as they announce plans to hire Somali Pirates.

With real ferry companies recruiting extra staff in order to deal with the Post Brexit freight shipping bonanza, there’s now a significant labour shortage.

Coincidently, faced with a downturn in the pirate trade, following the success of a major Hollywood Movie, The Pirates wanted to utilise their transferable skills and increase income from other sources. Continue reading “Seaborne Freight turns to Somali Pirates for help manning their non-existent fleet”

Millennials get upset hearing Granny’s pearls of wisdom and are turning to Social Media to boost their fragile ego’s

Millennials feelings have been hurt and they’ve have run crying to social media for support as gangs of marauding grand-parents upset them by telling them some painful truths.

With stress levels peaking, the younger generation, are no longer willing to accept the grey-brigade’s pernicious pearls of wisdom. Multiple violations of teen’s emotional ‘safe space’ have been reported.
Continue reading “Millennials get upset hearing Granny’s pearls of wisdom and are turning to Social Media to boost their fragile ego’s”

Ancestral history programme reveals Danny Dyer is next in line for the throne, All Hail King Dan

A constitutional crises has erupted following the latest series of “Who the f**k r u?”, the programme investigating the ancestry of celebrities; in search of scandal, title tattle and giving them a chance to act like they care about people they’ve never heard of.

During the latest series it transpired that Danny Dyer was a direct descendent of Edward III. It appears there was confusion about bloodlines during the time of Beseechious the Unfortunately Named and the wrong royal bloodline took over.  Continue reading “Ancestral history programme reveals Danny Dyer is next in line for the throne, All Hail King Dan”

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