None of The Above

We don’t normally write Opinion columns, that is not our thing. However, one of our writers was a little irritated at the antics of the political monkeys. He submitted this piece. We sent it back, explaining it was Op Ed rather than satire. He pointed out that Jeremy Clarkson, James May and The Hamster were allowed one serious piece a year. We relented.

We would like to reinforce Colin’s comment that at Chatty we are politically unaffiliated. Whilst many stories are anti-government, that is because they are the government and in a position of power. We welcome submissions from across the political spectrum, (except Tommy Robinson, he can f**k off)

Colin’s Piece

Train service in chaos due to the unexpected arrival of summer

The national rail service is in chaos due to an unexpected burst of sunny weather. Services as far north as Scotland have been badly hit by the rise in temperatures.

Ian Napton “We were taken completely by surprise. No-one expected warm sunny days in June, July and August. We had prepared for overcast skies, mild drizzle and a general sense of despondency. The rail network just can’t cope with sunshine.”

All Aboard!

The Mind expanding Bavard Bar

Bavard Bar

We recently published a review of the Bavard Bar in Eastbourne, concluding that it was rather good. It transpires that Hastings Online Time’s reviewed the St Leonard’s version. We thought it would be good to share their opinion with you.

If you follow the links, in the extract below, they will take you to the Bavard Bar website and the Hastings Online Times full review.


Boris Johnson signs on as a writer at The Chatty Chimp

Boris Johnson

Here at The Chatty Chimp we are delighted to announce the journalistic coup of the week. We’ve managed to sign Boris Johnson as a writer on our little paper.

It wasn’t easy getting Boris to give up his £275,000 per year column at the Daily Torygraph, but the offer of free peanuts, bananas, tea, his own tyre swing and the promise of first crack at the new interns did the trick.


Steve Bruce the only bloke Mike Ashley could get to do the job

The big managerial news this week was the arrival of former Sheffield Wednesday boss Stevie Bruce at Newcastle, though his appointment was not without controversy as the tabloids broke the news that Stevie was not actually Mike ‘Power Drinker’ Ashley’s first choice for the job.

Of course” said Mike, as he vomited in a fire place and ordered another half pound of pork scratchings down his local boozer, “We went through a few names. I met a bloke in here called Rodney the other day, reckoned he might be able to do us a job, but he’s banged up for parole violation so it looks like one we’ll have to revisit later.”

Your Round!
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