The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting in (insert location)

Right-thinking members of the NRA are tonight sending their thoughts and prayers to the victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (insert location)

Billy Bob Williams, on behalf of the NRA, immediately held a mentally ill person who would’ve done it anyway, responsible. And he was probably a Muslim, wasn’t he? Continue reading “The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting in (insert location)”

Heads to roll at Amazon after receiving a £1.7 mill tax bill

Heads are expected to roll at the UK division of Amazon after an undetected internal accounting error meant that the company has become liable for UK Corporation Tax of £1.7m.

The company, which would have beaten Apple to the crown of “first $1trn company” nine years ago if it hadn’t been for its merciless tax mitigation department, is still ranked less profitable in the UK than Toys R Us, Maplin and Aunt Emily’s Corner Shop in Devizes.

Continue reading “Heads to roll at Amazon after receiving a £1.7 mill tax bill”

Sexy, blonde, tousle-haired sex siren, Borisina, to launch new erotic lingerie collection

Queen Victoria’s Secret Lady Garden have announced the new face of their latest erotic lingerie collection. It is none other than the sexual temptress and Jezebel, Borasina Johnson (54). The cuddly sex siren and wanton harlot was recently announced as the new face of elderly lingerie.

A Chris Griffiths, speaking for QVSLG said, “We ran the focus groups and couldn’t believe it when Borasina came out top in the poll of the 10 most bonkable people. Just goes to show what happens when you let the people vote.” Continue reading “Sexy, blonde, tousle-haired sex siren, Borisina, to launch new erotic lingerie collection”

The Golf Game of the Century – What really happened when Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump

At their recent summit Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump in the century’s greatest ever golf match. In this battle, between two egotistical tyrants, one fluffed drive could result in a nuclear strike. World peace was at stake, and death stalked the practice ground. Continue reading “The Golf Game of the Century – What really happened when Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump”

Groovy Gang, Theresa and the May ‘B’ Knots get down to the funky ‘No Deal’ disco beat with their new single, Operation Clawhammer

Theresa’s Toe-tapping funksters have decided they are no longer prepared to dance to the Europop beat. Theresa and the May ‘B’ Knots have come up with a new, funky, disco style, “Clawhammer”. The sound of which has been likened to the screaming heard, when you repeatedly smash yourself in the face with a “Clawhammer”. Groupies confirmed this rhythmical, high pitched screaming style has been under development for the last two years.

Continue reading “Groovy Gang, Theresa and the May ‘B’ Knots get down to the funky ‘No Deal’ disco beat with their new single, Operation Clawhammer”

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