Shock as Brexit makes buying an Aston Martin more unaffordable for everyday folk

There was outrage and disbelief across the country as Aston Martin revealed the price of their cars would have to rise, following Brexit.

Many of those working on low wages, whose income is topped up by benefits, have seen no increase in payments this year. This means many won’t be able to upgrade to Aston Martin’s latest model. Continue reading “Shock as Brexit makes buying an Aston Martin more unaffordable for everyday folk”

As psychologists prove men and women are not meant to live together, Marriage Guidance counsellors offer a full refund

Bewildered marriage guidance counsellors, were forced to return customer’s money, admitting that men and women really are from different planets.

With the ‘new man’ allegedly stepping up to the plate, psychologists initially aspired to bridge the chasm in marital communication. Researching how each sex felt their emotional needs were best met, psychologists quickly found a raging gulf between view points.

Continue reading “As psychologists prove men and women are not meant to live together, Marriage Guidance counsellors offer a full refund”

Ian Napton applies The Kondo Method to his porn collection

Inspired by the Netflix series on tidying up, Ian Napton decided to take himself in hand and Kondo his porn collection.

Having been single for many years, Ian had assembled a significant collection of Gentleman’s Particulars, re-organisation was going to be a big job. Continue reading “Ian Napton applies The Kondo Method to his porn collection”

RIP – the lion hearted champion of truth, decency and traditional, white, middle-class values, that was The Daily Mail

In the modern era of high-quality online news websites, The Daily Mail has finally announced its imminent closure.

We haven’t printed any truthful news for nearly thirty years,” said Deputy Editor, Ian Napton. “Nobody here could accept how The Conservative Party treated Margaret, and our hearts haven’t quite been in it ever since. We run stories about house prices, cancer, immigrants, The Royal Family and the EU because people expect us to, but truthfully, I pay my twelve year old daughter a fiver a week to write those.” Continue reading “RIP – the lion hearted champion of truth, decency and traditional, white, middle-class values, that was The Daily Mail”

Do you have an affinity with the written word? A liking for a joke? Fancy seeing your work published? Then, come and join an infinite number of monkeys working on their Hamlet scripts

We are an online, topical, poo flinging satirical news site, looking to carve out our little niche on the internet. We write stories about everyday life in the Monkey House.

One of our aims is to give new writers a platform to have their work published. To urge funny people to put finger to keyboard, in 250 words or less, and tell us something we hadn’t thought of.  Continue reading “Do you have an affinity with the written word? A liking for a joke? Fancy seeing your work published? Then, come and join an infinite number of monkeys working on their Hamlet scripts”