two men in a pub

Weekend ruined after two mates meet up for ‘a quick one’

Ian Napton hadn’t seen his mate Andy for a while, so they agreed to meet for ‘a quick one’ after work. Both assured family, friends and work colleagues that they’d just meet up for an hour, have a couple of pints befroe heading home to enjoy a busy weekend with their families.

Gillian Napton takes up the story “They turned up at four in the morning, completely legless. Ian was hungry so he tried to make cheese on toast, he ruined the grill, trashed the kitchen and set off the fire alarm. The prats then fell asleep watching Bullseye re-runs. If he says, ‘Here’s what you would have won!’ one more time I’ll swing for him. A quick one my arse! they’ve spoiled the whole family’s weekend.”

Back to school

Mums rejoice and teachers despair as the new term begins

The country’s mums raise a glass in cheer as the nation’s children return to school.

Thank Christ for that!” said Gillian Napton, “It’s been torture, 6 weeks of trying to keep the little bastards amused. The only respite was 2 weeks in Torremolinos and that seems ages ago. Every time I thought it couldn’t get any worse, their friends would turn up for a sleep over. Why were my 2 never invited anywhere?”.

Red Nose Day man in the pub

Red Nose Day Appeal – A man goes to the pub

Red Nose Day comes around again. Once more, some very nice people set out to persuade you to give them some money, so you don’t have to think about something bad. This time they’re doing it with funny jokes and sketches, plus Alan Partridge and James Corden.

Ian Napton decided to enter into the spirit of the event by pledging, to go to the pub for the evening.

Dr Wardy, from The University of Life, says, “Hungover? then drink more and you’ll feel better”

After years of self-study, a scientist at The University of Life has discovered the best way to treat a hangover is to drink more.

The idea, first came to Dr Peter Wardy as an undergraduate. After 3 years of constant consumption of cheap alcohol, leading to regular hangovers, he wondered whether drinking more would make the symptoms go away.