Tag: America


Have you always wanted to lord over your very own country, but didn’t know where to start? Vladislav Pupin has the program for you! Like you, he wanted to rule over the lesser beings, so he came up with a fool-proof plan!

You can fool enough of the people, often enough

America asks The Queen to have her back

Following a steady decline in the state of the United States, Democrats and Republicans have approached Queen Elizabeth asking her to take America back.

Concerned that America’s become a global laughing stock and appalled at the evermore erratic behaviour of their President, The Yanks want The Queen to run things again. Having watched The Crown on Netflix, Americans feel that Lizzie will bring a bit of decorum, decency and self-respect to the troubled nation. At least Her Majesty won’t be a national embarrassment every time she opens her mouth.

One suggests you read this!

Prince Archie is part of the Royal Family’s long term plan to reclaim the colonies

The Royal Family have announced the birth of their latest progeny, Prince Archie. The nation rejoiced in welcoming yet another tax payer funded overlord.

As a British Royal, Archie is 7th in the line of succession to The Crown. His American mother also ensures his qualification to become President of the United States of America. Continue reading “Prince Archie is part of the Royal Family’s long term plan to reclaim the colonies”

White Middle-Aged Atheist manages to go a whole day without being a racist di*k

A Middle-Aged, White, Working-Class, Atheist has managed to navigate his way through a large, ethnically diverse, capital city without succumbing to murdering people he didn’t like.

Daniel Napton (54), from Hastings, spent the day quietly going about his business in London without so much as a thought of acting on racial, misogynistic or homophobic prejudices because, as it turns out, he doesn’t actually have any. Continue reading “White Middle-Aged Atheist manages to go a whole day without being a racist di*k”

Taxpayer stunned to indifference over the new Royal baby

While congratulations have poured in from around the world for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on the birth of their son, the reaction at home has been low key by comparison.

Ian Napton, a commuter from Eastbourne and taxpayer, said, “This is going to cost the country money inevitably – money I’d rather see spent on making the railways work, the hospitals better funded, or even the potholes repaired in my street. I don’t really care about the Royals, if I’m honest. Princess Kate is quite pretty, I suppose. There’s no way that Hooray Henry of a husband of hers would have pulled her if he hadn’t been able to ask her if she fancied being the Queen.” Continue reading “Taxpayer stunned to indifference over the new Royal baby”