Tag: bbc

BBC replace Newsnight host because she is too intelligent

The BBC Newsnight current affairs programme has replaced their regular host presenter Emily Maitlis for being ‘too intelligent’ in dissecting the government’s handling of Dominic Cummings’ lockdown trip to Durham.

An Intelligent Woman
Surely a big powerful man like you isn’t scared of little old Emily?

BBC News coverage to be cut to 10 minutes a day

With the worldwide lockdown curtailing almost all activity, the BBC has decided to cut their news output to 10 minutes a day.

The BBC’s Head of News said, “This is a fantastic opportunity for us to save a packet. Nothing is happening, so all we need is a bulletin that leads with ‘Corona Virus Lockdown continues’, follows it up with ‘valiant NHS Staff don’t have enough PPE’ and finishes with a heart warming story about some child from Middlesborough getting a thousand likes for his dead Granny on Instagram, before she looks wistfully at the camera and tells us that, “It’s what she would have wanted”.

Thank fu&7 for that says Kirsty Wark

Radio 4 to install walk-in fridge for politicians to hide in

The Government has announced that it is to stop appearing on any programme that asks hard questions.

Apparently, politicians are upset that journalists ask them questions about their jobs, areas of responsibility and running the country. “It’s not fair, I appeared on Radio 4 to talk about my cats and the presenter asked me lots of questions about Brexit, well, I couldn’t answer any of them, it was very embarrassing.” said one cabinet minister.

The Today programme on BBC Radio 4
You’re being mean to me!

Line of Duty returns for 6th series with even more acronyms

LoD creator Jed Mercurio has confirmed that the series will return for a 6th series, and it will be chock full of bright new acronyms and abbreviations.

“The thing is coming up with all those acronyms series after series is the really hard part. If we put in enough random letters, everyone just sits there trying to work them out and fails to notice we just repeated the first season again and again.”

LoD back for s6, with a new OCG in AF12