Tag: Boris Johnson

Boris admits soldiers will die in Iraq but it's a sacrifice he's willing to make

Heroic Boris Johnson admits British Soldiers will die in the Middle-East but it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make. albeit not personally.

“Be under no illusion, I am prepared to do anything Donald Trump wants me to do, be it selling contaminated food, giving him the NHS or allowing young northerners to die horribly, thousands of miles from home. It’s a sacrifice I am willing to make, in order to get a trade deal and because he’s my real daddy.”

Boris Johnson
Donald says of course he will still love me in the morning!
Bombs away!

Johnson upset Trump didn't tell him to buy oil

Diplomacy between the UK and the USA is being tested early in the New Year following the assassination of Qasem Soleimani.

Roy Keane
I’m not mad!

The UK would ordinarily have expected to have been informed in advance that military action was being taken, but this wasn’t the case. Downing Street is understood to be “disappointed.”

A spokesman for the prime minister told us, “Boris is furious. Had he received the customary tip-off, he and his rich pals would have piled into oil, making a swift profit, selling before the weekend arrived. This has cost a lot of money.”

Buy, buy, bYE!

Boris confirms all manifesto promises are affordable as Chris Grayling isn't in the Cabinet

The country breathed a collective sigh of relief after discovering that Chris Grayling is not in the cabinet.

As Boris Johnson settles back into life at Downing Street he revealed his new cabinet. There was widespread joy after it was clear that Chris Grayling has not been offered a position within it.

“THE Man’s an idiot and I should know” says Boris

Xmas tensions rise as husband decorates the house Boris Blue

Tensions are mounting, between a politically disparate couple, in the wake of the general election result.

Contentions reached fever pitch, when Ian Napton surprised his wife Gillian, by redecorating their semi-detached house, entirely with Boris Blue festive decorations. Delighted with his handy work, Ian commented, ‘Boris is our man for sure. I consider myself thoroughly middle-class, especially as I’ve bought a four-wheel-drive on finance, wear Barbour wellies and jeer at homeless people.’

What Ho! Look at me I’m alright Jack!