Tag: Boris Johnson

‘Keep the statues’ says the blonde balloon.

Human potato and walking metaphor for everything wrong with Britain today, Boris Johnson (soon to be known exclusively as BJ as part of a jazzy rebrand), has criticised the decision to remove a statue in Oxford dedicated to all-round top geezer Cecil “we are the first race in the world” Rhodes.

Don’t worry, it will be all white in the morning
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Union Jack painted upside-down on BJ’s new plane

The liberal elite took to social media, to ridicule the Prime Minister’s decision to spend £900,000 painting a flag on the tail fin of his aeroplane. Unfortunately for Mr Johnson, the Union Jack appears to have been painted upside down.

I know its something to do with a fat white line, says Gove.
What do you mean, it’s not the right way up?

Government supporters were quick to rebut allegations of more ministerial incompetence.

Upside-down Union Jack is a cry for help, someeone save us!

Eton, Oxford and The Royal Family outlawed as White Supremacist Groups

Following the death of George Floyd and the ensuing worldwide anti-racist protests, the Government will make all white supremacist organisations illegal. From Monday, membership of an elite, discriminatory, whites-only organisation will become a criminal offence.

We welcome the modern world, with all of its diversity!
Oh bollocks says Boris, what have I done?

Political transfer market is open for business

A football-style transfer market has been suggested for politicians, some of whom are looking nervously over their shoulders.

The well-known cock-up artist and habitual liar, Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of Great Britain, leads the free transfer market, as no other country, not even America, is willing to take him off Britain’s hands.

Do i hear £20 and lick of my lolly for Boris?