Tag: Boris Johnson

Mark Francois to stand in for Boris Johnson

Following Boris Johnson’s positive test, Mark Francois is to be the next Prime Minister

Downing Street sources quickly identified the touchy-feely Boris Johnson as the super-spreader. Consequently, everyone he has had contact with has been isolated, including all cabinet ministers. Now, the search for a new leader is on.  

I always new my time would come, I’m ready to serve my country, where is my potato-peeler?

At least the Corona Virus will reduce pension payments, says Boris

Britain’s pension timebomb is in the news again. With the nation largely underprovided for in terms of retirement provision, and with an increasing older population, the government has decided to take advantage of the unplanned Coronavirus to kill the elderly off.

Woman Drinking in Kitchen
Bottoms Up
Think of the saving in pension payments!

In the face of a national crisis, Boris rekindles the Blitz Spirit

“Believe in Britain, and stop all this doom-mongering,” says Boris. Adding, “If a few old people have to die in the national interest, then, keep a stiff upper lip, carry on and don’t let Johnnie Foreigner see you blub.

One paper has issued a helpful guide, designed to rekindle memories of life in the 1940s.

Remember you’re British!