Tag: Brexit

EU bans the sale of Just For Men hair dye because it’s sexist

Just For Men

The best-selling hair colour brand, used by millions of men has been banned as sexist.

Under EU anti-discrimination rules the hair dye is considered to be insulting and demeaning to those who are not Men, those who aren’t sure if they are Men, Men who want to be Men, Women who want to be Men, Women who want to be Women but look like Men, Women who want their Men to be Men and Women who want their Men to be someone else.

Tu es sérieuse !

Judge rules that ‘You know politicians lie, if you believe them it’s your fault’

Judge rules in favour of politicians

Lord Justice Ian Napton has clarified an earlier court ruling by confirming that politicians lie, you know they lie so it’s your own fault if you believe anything they say.

The landmark ruling came about after Mark Taylor got fed up with being lied too. He crowd-funded a court action, in order to try to hold, just, one politician to account. Mr Taylor argued that as a politician is a servant of the people, they had a duty to act honestly and failure to do so was ‘mis-conduct in a public office’.

Read more lies here!

Brexit Party storms to victory in the latest round of Statues

Embed from Getty Images

Brexit Party caused up an upset in the adult round of the children’s game of Statues.

Held in Strasbourg, the latest round featured teams from all over Europe. The Germans were heavy favourites to win, although their recent form has been a little shaky.

The plucky Brexit Party signalled their intent when they entered the arena, holding hands. Initially, this seemed to be a demonstration of solidarity, although it turned out that it was to stop several of the squad wandering off in a demented haze.

More on this National Embarrassment

Boris Johnson announces new points based immigration test

What's your shade?

As part of his campaign to say anything in order to become Prime Minister further details of Boris Johnson’s points-based immigration system have emerged.

New arrivals will be given a points value based on how Brown they are according to The Painters Colour Chart. The darker the shade the fewer the points.

Due to Liverpool’s high sun bed usage some residents may get caught at airport security, but the Government thinks this is a small price to pay.

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Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is the reincarnation of Sir Lancelot du Lac claims spiritualist

Sir Lancelot

Spiritualist claims that Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is the reincarnation of Sir Lancelot du Lac, heroic knight, legendary swordsman, jouster and jester.

Spiritualist, fortune teller and seer beyond the veil, Zofia Napattoni, believes that Boris Johnson is the reincarnation of the heroic knight, Sir Lancelot.

Ancient myth says that when Britain is threatened a hero will come to lead the people to safety and, according to Zofia, Boris is the man.

ARISE SIR BORIS THE RANDY!
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