In an unexpected twist, the Brexit negotiations have taken a new direction today.
Without consulting Theresa May, Brussels has announced membership of the EU will become available to individuals after the UK leaves the bloc on 29 March 2019. Modest subscriptions, touted to be €1 per year, will be payable, but nothing so much as you’d want to write it on the side of a bus. Continue reading “Personal EU Membership Subscriptions on offer at €1 per annum”
Ian Napton, has appealed directly to the European Court of Justice to be allowed permanent relief from his Brexititis, by being allowed to die. Continue reading “Brexititis sufferer makes an emotional appeal to European Court of Justice to be allowed to die”
House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
Dear Sir Graham,
It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself. Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”
After a day of parliamentary nightmares, Ebenee May has been plagued by ghoulish visions, rattling chains and things going bump in the night. Experts have been drafted in to help Ebenee sleep at night.
The unearthly spectre of David Cameron disturbs her slumber, showing her the consequences of Christmas past. She lies awake, besieged by hostile immigrants, street riots and the Windrush generation but, owing to service cuts there’s not a police officer to help. Continue reading ““Bah! Humbug! Why can’t I sleep?” cries Ebenee May”
Two of UKIP’s leading lights, Nigel Farage and Suzanne Evans, have publicly quit UKIP after finding out the party was ‘a little bit racist’.
Apparently this came as a shock as they understood the party to be a force for enlightenment, inclusivity, change and goodness. They were, both, very disappointed to discover they were, in fact, the bad guys. Continue reading “Farage and Evans quit UKIP after discovering the party is ‘a little bit racist’”
Loud foot stamping could be heard resonating through the Houses of Commons last night, after Father Christmas confirmed he wouldn’t be granting Theresa May anything on her Christmas Brexit wish list.
At twenty nine pages long, Theresa’s wish list appears to be too much work for Santa and it’s looking increasingly likely that Father Christmas will pass over Downing Street altogether. Continue reading “Santa’s end of year review puts Theresa on The Naughty List”