A bag of soft shite has chanced his arm in the Conservative leadership contest. With speculation mounting as to who will fill Theresa May’s shoes, Mr Excrement has boldly stepped forward with his fruitful vision for the future. Continue reading “Bag of shite enters the Tory leadership contest”
The Conservative Party is heading for oblivion after the last candidate in the Tory leadership race promised leaving Brexit with No Deal was ‘Political Suicide’.
This completes a clean sweep of prospective Tory leaders who have all promised that under any of the Brexit options The Tory Party will commit ‘Political Suicide’. Continue reading “All of the Tory Leadership contenders promise their party will commit ‘Political Suicide’”
Following yet another classic British cock-up the electorate have managed to elect a Dancing Border Collie to sit in the European Parliament.
The confusion occurred as voting for Britain’s Got Talent was running simultaneously to the EU Elections. 20 Million people were casting their annual vote in favour of the dancing dog when someone at The Electoral Commission muddled up the ballots. Continue reading “Voting mix up sees BGT’s Dancing Dog elected as MEP”
Sadly, Bozo Johnson has suddenly died. Details are sketchy but it appears he suffered an unfortunate accident with a mashie-niblick, after his best friend unexpectedly returned from golf. The lady of the house was unharmed.
Due to become Prime Minister, the untimely death of the noted scamp, womaniser and disingenuous motherfucker has deprived the country of one of the best leaders we never had.
Continue reading “RIP – Boris ‘Bozo’ Johnson the best PM we never had”
Police were called to free a Mr Softee salesman, after he was trapped in his van by an angry mob.
Nigel Farage was selling his Mr Softee ice-cream, outside Rochester Castle when he was besieged by angry protesters, waving milkshakes. Apparently, the crowd had mistaken him for a politician doing a publicity stunt. Continue reading “Farage trapped in his Mr Softee Van by milkshake wielding mob”