Tag: Business

HMV’s Grift Voucher Scheme will sell peerages, financial favours, ferrying contracts and government influence as part of a daring rescue plan

HMV’s  administrators have come up with a cunning plan to help save the beleaguered retail chain. With the assistance of the Government, HMV will now be selling gongs, medals, peerages, £14 Million Ferrying contracts and Ministerial access.

Ian Napton, of VR Administrators, explained, “We had the idea when the story broke about the government selling off peerages to try and get Theresa May’s Brexit deal through Parliament.” Continue reading “HMV’s Grift Voucher Scheme will sell peerages, financial favours, ferrying contracts and government influence as part of a daring rescue plan”

The oldest firm of British stockbrokers, Plummety Plum and Sons, has closed its doors for the final time

The oldest firm of British stockbrokers, Plummety Plum and Sons, has closed its doors for the final time.

Never having been willing to allow new-fangled computers to ruin their business, the firm saved a fortune on IT support, but concluded that modern young bucks didn’t want to do business via an actual telephone call or through the post any longer. Continue reading “The oldest firm of British stockbrokers, Plummety Plum and Sons, has closed its doors for the final time”

Management and Staff Training Courses are not a cults says Chief Visioneer, Charles Daniels

Chief Visioneer, Charles Daniels, denies claims that Management and Staff Development Programmes are cults,  using pseudoscience to create corporate drones from businesses that should know better.

Mr Daniels explained, “It’s not unreasonable for a companies, such as RoBSu Bank for example, to  want fully envisioned staff. The Bank realises meaningfully engaged, and inspired workers are good news for The Bank, its customers and The Bank. I know that for the enormous fee I’m charging them I’m certainly energivisioned for positivation at  150% of capacitational awareness.” Continue reading “Management and Staff Training Courses are not a cults says Chief Visioneer, Charles Daniels”

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