Tag: Car Makers

Musk says ‘Tesla Ich bin ein Binliner’

Brexiteers have reacted with indignation over Tesla’s decision to base its European Gigafactory in Germany.

Elon Musk, the company’s high profile founder, said that Brexit uncertainty made it “too risky” to locate the factory in Britain, despite the small army of soon-to-be-unemployed car factory workers here he could potentially have taken on.

Don’t mention the war.

Aston Martin shares plummet faster than the car’s value

James Bond’s car maker of choice, Aston Martin, is facing criticism from City types who are no longer able to afford one of their luxury cars.

25% of the company was floated in London in October 2018 at 1900p per share.

Giles Wilkinson-Giles, a City type, told us, “I was in their Mayfair dealership collecting my DB11 last year and I thought, why not? I’ll buy some shares, too. Unfortunately, the shares have fallen in value faster than the actual car.”

Chin Chin!

Shock as Brexit makes buying an Aston Martin more unaffordable for everyday folk

There was outrage and disbelief across the country as Aston Martin revealed the price of their cars would have to rise, following Brexit.

Many of those working on low wages, whose income is topped up by benefits, have seen no increase in payments this year. This means many won’t be able to upgrade to Aston Martin’s latest model. Continue reading “Shock as Brexit makes buying an Aston Martin more unaffordable for everyday folk”

Launch of UK’s last remaining production car, The Plonker, doesn’t go well

As the last of the major UK based car makers, announces plans to shift production overseas, one plucky British company, The Trotters, launch their new four door saloon, The Plonker.

Unfortunately, launch day didn’t go as planned, the millennial models they hired were only used to automatics and drove the car straight into the River. Continue reading “Launch of UK’s last remaining production car, The Plonker, doesn’t go well”

Honda smashes Nissan in the race for the Brexit Door

Red-faced executives at the Nissan plant in Sunderland are expecting harsh words from their bosses in Japan tomorrow morning as their counterparts at Honda’s Swindon factory stole a march by announcing the closure of their factory first.

Sunderland, the poster town for Vote Leave, realised it had dropped a clanger roughly twenty seconds after polls closed at the 2016 EU Referendum, and Remainers everywhere have scoffed ever since at people voting to become unemployed. Now Swindon has joined in on the act, also voting Leave and succeeding in closing a major local employer in consequence, but doing it first. Continue reading “Honda smashes Nissan in the race for the Brexit Door”